Infatuation Rules
Photo by SHVETS production Pexels Logo Photo: SHVETS production

How do you turn a one-night stand into a FWB?

You can say something straightforward like “Hey, I had a lot of fun the other night and would love to do that again, but I should be clear that I'm thinking more of a friends-with-benefits situation rather than dating.

What country is known for love?
What country is known for love?

Map: The Countries That Feel the Most Love in the World Rank Country Percent Feeling Love 1 Philippines 93% 2 Rwanda 92% 3 Puerto Rico 90% 4...

Read More »
What should not be accepted in a relationship?
What should not be accepted in a relationship?

Things you should never tolerate in a relationship include not being cared about. After all, if that's the case, then what's the point of the...

Read More »

Barbecue sauce is to thank for my first friends-with-benefits situation. One night, I was extolling the virtues of Sweet Baby Ray’s—I come from St. Louis, where citizens consume almost twice as much barbecue sauce per capita as the average person—and I claimed that I would eat barbecue sauce off someone’s dick. (I’m cringing, too, don’t worry.) “In fact,” I lamented, “why don’t people incorporate barbecue sauce in the bedroom more? Why is it only chocolate sauce?” After a bit, we moved on from barbecue sauce, but later that night I got a text from one of my friends saying, “Were you serious about the barbecue sauce thing?” I scrambled to figure out which part of my pro-sauce soliloquy he was referring to. (If you are ever going to ask a woman to be your FWB in this exact same way, please be more specific than this guy was.) Eventually he not-so-smoothly brought up barbecue sauce and dicks, which led to us joking around and him saying, “haha we should do that sometime.” Reader: We did not do that. But the text did open the door for us to fuck, which was the actual goal of the whole conversation. Bless you, Sweet Baby Ray’s. It’s a hard conversation to have. There’s a risk—more perceived than real—that you’ll irrevocably ruin a friendship and be branded as a massive weirdo if you admit you’d be down to hook up with a friend of yours. I’ve had a few friends-with-benefits situations, and I can tell you that no one way of bringing this up is going to make you feel like you’re not doing something potentially disastrous. But let me also assure you that it’s normal to want casual sex; a lot of people are going to be similarly thrilled with the idea. And the ones who aren’t? They probably aren’t going to be scandalized by it. Unless you’re hanging out with a lot of practicing Mennonites, you’re probably not going to ruin a friendship by respectfully suggesting a low-key bone sesh. I’m just going to tell you how to do it the right way.

WHEN

A friends-with-benefits talk should happen only after sex has already happened once—asking before there’s been any mutual acknowledgement of sexual interest is a bit too bold, and is more likely to land you in an uncomfortable situation. You can suggest casual sex with a friend you’ve been flirting with (just make your expectations clear), but the ongoing agreement of a sex relationship can’t happen until you’ve already boned once. Otherwise, it’s like saying, “We should do this again” before the first date. Conversely, you also can’t sleep with someone six times and then just assume they’re on the same page simply because you guys keep having sex. Up-front communication is key in a friends-with-benefits relationship, if only to prevent thornier conversations later. After the first time you fuck a friend, the next chance you get to talk to them while clothed, bring it up. You can say something straightforward like “Hey, I had a lot of fun the other night and would love to do that again, but I should be clear that I’m thinking more of a friends-with-benefits situation rather than dating. No big deal if you’re not into that, though, just wanted to be up front!” Don’t make it some weird diatribe about how you’re not ready for a relationship or can’t give them enough emotionally. No one wants to take on that information from a FWB.

How many partners do most people have in a lifetime?
How many partners do most people have in a lifetime?

When it comes to number of partners, our female respondents averaged seven sexual partners during their lifetimes, while men averaged 6.4....

Read More »
What is a symbol of loyalty?
What is a symbol of loyalty?

24 Wolf. The wolf is often used as a representation of loyalty, guardianship, strength, independence and freedom. Oct 31, 2017

Read More »

What is an example of seduce?

Example Sentences He tried to seduce her. She was seduced by an older man. The other team seduced him with a better offer.

Recent Examples on the Web

The aggro YouTuber had been courting Miles for a gig at Alpha News throughout the movie, even sending Whiskey (Madelyn Cline) to seduce him. — Quinci Legardye, Harper's BAZAAR, 24 Dec. 2022 Cameron wants to submerge you in another time and place, to seduce you into a state of pure, unforced astonishment. — Justin Chang, Los Angeles Times, 13 Dec. 2022 Jamie gets a visit from Sarah who continues to seduce him even though Jamie claims to understand her ploy—to use their relationship as a means to force Jamie to recuse himself from the case. — Joshua St. Clair, Men's Health, 5 Dec. 2022 So many performances seem almost algorithmically rigged to seduce the Academy (hammy, hair/makeup/accent-heavy portrayals of real people, like Jessica Chastain’s Oscar-winning take on Tammy Faye Messner last year). — Jon Frosch, The Hollywood Reporter, 6 Dec. 2022 Dahmer would seduce gay men by offering them money for photographs. — Shelby Denise Smith, Essence, 28 Sep. 2022 Ardbeg Ardcore’s strong spicy, and savory smell will seduce you to have your first taste. — Toby Grey, BGR, 4 Sep. 2022 Wolff has long been interested in male aggression and female sexuality, and in the diminishment of power that occurs when a man loses his ability to exert violence or a woman ages out of her capacity to seduce. — New York Times, 12 July 2022 The dances, here, exist to give us evidence that Chippendales was pleasing crowds, not to seduce or enthrall us really at all. — Daniel D'addario, Variety, 17 Nov. 2022

See More

Why do I overreact to my boyfriend?
Why do I overreact to my boyfriend?

Perfectionism can make you overreact to your partner when they can't live up to your expectations. Try to see things from your partner's point of...

Read More »
What to do when your boyfriend stops giving you attention?
What to do when your boyfriend stops giving you attention?

How to Improve Your Relationship Stop begging for your partner's attention. ... Focus on yourself instead. ... Stop trying to control your partner....

Read More »
How do you restore a relationship?
How do you restore a relationship?

To mark the new year, we've put together a few tips to help you 'refresh your relationship'. Express interest in your partner's world. Learn what...

Read More »
How to know if I am attractive?
How to know if I am attractive?

So, if you want to know if you are truly attractive, take a close look at both your physical appearance and your personality traits. Chances are...

Read More »