Infatuation Rules
Photo by Karolina Grabowska Pexels Logo Photo: Karolina Grabowska

How do you tell if you're being groomed by a narcissist?

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Isolating you from family and friends. The narcissist will often try to isolate you from your support system, by attempting to turn you against them. This could involve making negative comments about the people in your life or actively trying to make it difficult for you to see them.

How do you know if you're an independent woman?
How do you know if you're an independent woman?

13 Traits That Define a Strong, Single Independent Woman (And You Need to Know Them) She doesnt settle for less. She is financially stable. She...

Read More »
Is dating for 6 months a big deal?
Is dating for 6 months a big deal?

Is Six Months In A Relationship A Big Deal? Being together for six months is a big deal for a relationship. It means that you and your partner are...

Read More »

What is Narcissistic Grooming?

Narcissistic grooming is the process of shaping a certain image in the target’s mind about who the narcissist is, what they’re like, and what their intentions are. This usually happens in relationships where the narcissist is trying to control or manipulate the other person. Narcissists will go out of their way to make themselves look good in the eyes of the person they are pursuing. They will be at their most charming to try and win the person over. This is all done in an effort to get the person to see them in a certain light – one that is usually far from reality. The grooming process is usually gradual, and it can be hard for the victim to understand or even notice what’s happening. Narcissists are like chameleons and they can be very convincing, which makes it easy for them to suck their target in. They start out slow, with small requests or favours, but over time they will start to ask for more and more. Before long, the victim is completely under the narcissist’s thumb. The relationship becomes toxic and one-sided, with the narcissist taking everything he can while giving nothing back.

Wearing a mask to hide his true self

The narcissist will never reveal his true self. When he meets someone he wants to manipulate, he will put on a false persona. The mask he uses will be carefully calibrated based on what he perceives to be important to you. If you are kind-hearted and love animals, he will make it a point to tell you a sad story about his heartbreak when his dog died. But if you are scared of dogs, his childhood best friend will be a cat. If you are looking for a strong and confident man, he will convince you that he is your knight in shining armour. “It is my mission in life to protect and cherish you,” he will declare. If you love to read, he will wax lyrical about being a bookworm. But if you tell him you hate books and love the great outdoors, he will share anecdotes about his hiking adventures.

His goal is to make you think – “I found my soulmate!”

The narcissist is an expert at reading people and knowing what they want to hear. He will use this knowledge to his advantage by telling you what you want to hear. The narcissist is also an excellent actor and can convincingly play any role that he needs to in order to get what he wants from you. The narcissist’s true self is always hidden behind the mask. He wants you to believe that he is charming, successful, and handsome. He wants you to think that he is the perfect partner for you. What is actually happening is that the narcissist is grooming you. He is shaping your relationship to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

Is texting everyday too clingy?
Is texting everyday too clingy?

Excessive Texting For instance, texting non-stop could indicate that one partner is clingy and needy and feeling insecure in the relationship....

Read More »
Which emotion is stronger love or fear?
Which emotion is stronger love or fear?

Love is stronger than fear, but fear will win out unless we allow love to empower sacrificial action in the world. Love is stronger than fear, but...

Read More »

Narcissistic Grooming techniques include:

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Future faking

This is when the narcissist tells you about all the wonderful things he is going to do for you in the future. He will make grandiose promises that he has no intention of keeping. This can make it difficult for their victims to see the reality of what is actually happening, as they are caught up in the false idealistic vision of the future. On top of that, narcissists use future faking as a way to keep people hanging on even when they should be moving on. The promises give them hope and create an illusion that things will get better, even when all signs point to the contrary.

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Love bombing

This is when the narcissist smothers you with attention and affection in the beginning of the relationship. They will start off the relationship with lavish displays of affection, love and attention. You may be showered with romantic dates, flowers and grand gestures. This is all done to make you feel special and loved, giving you a false impression that this person is perfect for you. However, once they have you hooked their behavior often changes dramatically. They may start to withdraw their love and attention, leaving you feeling confused and abandoned.

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Isolating you from family and friends

The narcissist will often try to isolate you from your support system, by attempting to turn you against them. This could involve making negative comments about the people in your life or actively trying to make it difficult for you to see them. The goal of this behavior is to create a situation where you become completely dependent on the narcissist, and they become the only source of support in your life. As such, they can easily manipulate and control you with little pushback or accountability.

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Guilt-Tripping

The narcissist often utilizes guilt tripping as a tool to manipulate their victims. They will make you feel guilty for any wrongdoing, real or imagined and then use gaslighting tactics to convince you that it is all your fault and that you must do what they say to fix the problem. This serves two purposes for the narcissist, First of all it feeds their ego, because it gives them a strong sense of being in control. Secondly, it prevents the victim from standing up for themselves or getting help from outside sources, since they become convinced that it is all their fault.

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Manipulation

How do you know if there is a spark between you?
How do you know if there is a spark between you?

We naturally feel comfortable with each other. A "spark" can also take the form of a sinking feeling, goosebumps, or butterflies in your stomach...

Read More »
Can a female marry a female?
Can a female marry a female?

Despite the fact that woman-to-woman marriage has existed or exists in many societies, this institution has often been overlooked by researchers...

Read More »

Narcissists are true masters of manipulation. They will start out by using guilt or flattery to get what they want from you, but once the “honeymoon” period is over and you are trapped, they will resort to more extreme tactics such as threats and emotional blackmail in order to bend you to their will. These techniques are designed to make you question your own worth and feelings, leaving you vulnerable and unable to make decisions independently.

Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Playing the victim card

The narcissist will play the victim in order to gain your sympathy and support. He will lie about his past to make you feel sorry for him. He could claim his ex-partner was unfaithful and broke his heart, or that he was abused as a child. Of course, the story will be a lie from beginning to end, designed to make you feel sorry for them and create an emotional bond between you. They often escalate the narcissistic grooming by claiming that they have never shared these painful secrets about themselves with anyone. They will say that you are the only person in the world they feel comfortable talking to about it, because you are special.

What is the narcissist’s end game?

The narcissist uses these grooming techniques to gain trust and manipulate his victim into doing what he wants. Ultimately it is all a game for these predators, and their goal is to win. They do not care about the pain and damage they inflict on their victims. The only thing that matters to them is that they get what they want. If you think that you may be in a relationship with a narcissist, question everything that you have ever been told. Narcissists are experts at lying and manipulation. Don’t be fooled by their charms and empty promises. My advice would be to get out of the relationship as soon as possible, because narcissists never change. The following are the most potent abusive tactics in the narcissist’s toolbox – Disclosure: Please note that some of the links in this post are affiliate links. When you use one of my affiliate links, the company compensates me. At no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a commission, which helps me run this blog and keep my in-depth content free of charge for all my readers.

What habits do girls like in boys?
What habits do girls like in boys?

Be Prompt & Punctual. Yes, women may not hold to this, so there's definitely a double standard, but a man who is prompt and punctual shows how in-...

Read More »
What are manipulative behaviors?
What are manipulative behaviors?

Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and...

Read More »
How do you know if a man don't love you?
How do you know if a man don't love you?

21 signs he doesn't love you anymore He makes decisions on his own. ... He doesn't check on you by calling or sending messages even when you are...

Read More »
What a man admires in a woman?
What a man admires in a woman?

Men love women who are thoughtful, caring, loving and kind. A woman who does little things for her man for no other reason other than that she...

Read More »