How do you tell if your partner is lying about cheating?

Here are 12 signs that may indicate your partner is lying about cheating, with changes in behavior, such as: Focus On Appearance. ... Changes In Communication. ... Guarded Protection of Devices. ... Hostility Towards You & the Relationship. ... Developing a History of Lying. ... Body Language. ... They Become “Very Busy” ... Change in Habits. More items... •

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12 Signs Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating

A sure way to tell if your partner is lying about cheating is to ask them. You might feel uncomfortable with that option and may think they would never admit if they were lying or cheating. After all, your partner may be good at stonewalling, putting you off by using the methods of a pathological liar to manipulate you by being defensive or gaslighting you. However, if your partner is more sensitive and sincere, they could be honest. It’s not unheard of for a cheater to “spill the beans” and come clean, especially if they feel guilty knowing they are being deceitful. But this is not the same for every cheater, so confrontation should happen in a safe space. If your partner has denied cheating, but you still feel there is a chance he is lying, working with a professional to identify cheating patterns can help. Here are 12 signs that may indicate your partner is lying about cheating, with changes in behavior, such as:

1. Focus On Appearance

Have you noticed your partner trying to lose weight, buy designer jeans, or change their hair color or style? It isn’t always true, but a change in hygiene and appearance may signify that your partner may have another romantic interest. If your partner is dressing better when going somewhere rather than the casual, sloppy dresser around you, paying attention to other potential signs of cheating may be helpful.

2. Changes In Communication

Emotional intimacy comes from being open, honest, and accepting one another unconditionally. To be able to confide everything to a partner, no secrets, both good and bad. Suppose your partner is distant and uninterested and stops sharing the little things with you. In that case, there could be someone else to communicate with.

3. Guarded Protection of Devices

A desire to keep their phone and electrical device usage guarded can often be a glaring tip to a partner that something is wrong. They may be changing passwords, deleting texts, clearing the browser constantly, or safeguarding the phone by taking it in the shower. They may avoid making and receiving calls within your hearing range, taking the phone outside, and quietly speaking as though sneaking.

4. Hostility Towards You & the Relationship

You may find that your partner has become critical of you and anything you do or don’t do. You may sense them trying to “change” you into a person they would like better. Your partner might constantly push away your advances and seem eager to start fights with you. If they suspect you know about the cheating and lying, they may begin to blame you, which psychiatrists may call the technique of projection, when they divert their actions away from them and onto you.

5. Developing a History of Lying

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An old accepted statement in the psychology community is, “The best way to predict future behavior is past behavior.” If a person has attempted suicide in the past, they are likely considered “at risk” in the future. If a partner is known to lie easily with good results, they are likely to continue. Without negative consequences, they will likely improve their propensity to lie and be able to justify it. They may develop negative perspectives, such as thinking, “After all, if I didn’t lie, I would have hurt their feelings.”

6. Body Language

Information is abundant in our body language. A recent picture of a famous couple rumored to have relationship issues told it all. The man stood straight and rigid with both hands stuffed in his pant pockets. The woman snuggled behind him with both arms around his neck in what looked like a stranglehold. They looked beautiful, like the perfect couple, but body language told another story. Pay attention if your partner no longer wants to touch you or leans away when you kiss them. Body language tends to be an accurate truth-teller.

7. They Become “Very Busy”

Have you ever noticed that being very busy is an overused excuse to procrastinate? It may be true that most of us become too busy to take on other tasks or activities. However, if your partner is just too busy to be available to you realistically and ordinarily, they may be too busy with another person. If you expect them to be available 24/7, your expectation is too high. A partner that demands attention will smother a relationship. But if you find their other priorities always run long and never seem to get better, it could be an excuse to spend time with another partner.

8. Change in Habits

Say your partner was a chain smoker and recently kicked the habit and started going to the gym. It might be interesting to know what is driving this change. Is this change a serious self-help project to improve health and well-being? Is this news to you, or have you both been talking about it? Or could this change be that your partner has acquired a new cheating partner allergic to smoke?

9. Change in Schedule

Abrupt, unscheduled, questionable schedule changes can signify that your partner is trying to carve out alone time with a cheating partner. Suddenly needing to work late, being mandated to work an extra shift at work, complications at the gym, or someone needing help with a flat tire. Unexpected schedule changes with creative but bogus excuses can be a tip. Avoiding eye contact has been thought to be a sign of lying and thus shows potential for infidelity. However, the opposite can also be seen as a sign. Making eye contact is thought to mean a person was being honest, likely influenced by the quote, “Eyes are windows to the soul.” Possibly aggressive eye contact may have originated to prevent looking into the soul. This forceful eye contact, where your partner won’t blink and will not break direct eye contact, could be their way of preventing you from detecting lying. Excessive eye contact does not indicate anything except it is unnatural and disturbing.

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11. Changes In The Sexual Relationship

The cheating partner may step up activity in the bedroom to hide a possible affair. Or it’s also possible that the cheating partner wants to avoid intimacy with their usual partner feeling guilty about cheating on their partner. As creatures of habit, it’s common for couples to get into certain routines or practices, even with sex. So pay attention if your sex life has increased or lessened if you feel they are lying about cheating. If your partner is not lying about an affair, then there’s something else amiss that needs attention in the relationship.

12. Black Out Periods

Most couples will keep each other informed when apart out of respect and courtesy. If your partner cannot be reached by text or phone and this is abnormal behavior, they may avoid contact with you while with another person. They may accuse you of being controlling, saying, “I shouldn’t have to report to you all the time, don’t you trust me?” The reaction and response of your partner, when confronted with this, can help provide you with insight on if there is more that they are hiding.

choosingtherapy.com - How To Tell If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating - Choosing Therapy

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