Infatuation Rules
Photo: Leeloo Thefirst
13 Ways to Feel Immediately Closer to Your Partner Ask each other personal questions. ... Learn each other's love languages. ... Show interest in the things they like. ... Turn on some makeout music and go at it. ... Work out together. ... Make playlists for each other. ... Reveal one new thing you each want to try in bed. More items... •
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Read More »1. Ask each other personal questions. There are tons of lists of #deep questions out there, and the benefit of going off a script is that you won’t feel as self-conscious about being too nosy. Some, like Dr. Arthur Aron’s study on building closeness (made even more famous in the New York Times), have insightful questions that range from "When did you last cry in front of another person?" to "For what in your life do you feel most grateful?" Go to a cafe with free coffee refills, pull up a list on your phone, and watch how fast three hours go by as you learn endless new things about each other. 2. Learn each other’s love languages. Everyone expresses affection differently: the official Five Love Languages, as first introduced by Gary Chapman, are Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. And that’s great! But if you are someone who shows love through helping with small tasks when your partner actually craves a lot of hugs, that’s good to address. You can take this quiz and learn yours. 3. Show interest in the things they like. No, this does not mean you have to actually like it or pretend to like it yourself. There’s that all-too-familiar TV trope of one spouse rolling their eyes while their partner rattles on about something “boring” (football for men and shopping for women, duh!). But studies show that using encouraging language and asking your partner about the things they’re passionate about — as neutral as you might be about the topic yourself — makes people feel closer and is a key to successful marriages. 4. Turn on some makeout music and go at it. Kissing has a lot of great physical benefits, like lowering stress and even cholesterol levels, but sometimes kissing gets left behind when couples are rushing to get busy. Put on some prime makeout tunes (anything from soft indie folk to slick R&B to smooth jazz, because whatever, this is your makeout session), turn down the lights, and get going. 5. Work out together. Everyone knows how important exercise is in general, but even better is having your partner by your side as you push yourself to run that extra lap. Not only are you supporting each other as you challenge your bodies to lift more or jog faster, but you’re also together when your body is releasing a bunch of endorphins. Basically, you’ll associate all those happy post-exercise feelings with each other! Plus, seeing each other drenched in sweat and liking each other more is a surefire way to feel more connected.
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Read More »6. Make playlists for each other. There’s evidence that listening to music has actual physiological benefits, like giving us a boost of oxytocin, which is also known as the "love hormone" due to its release during social bonding activities like cuddling or sex. One way you could add to all those good feels is by making each other playlists, aka the modern day mix-tapes. Music is so personal, and you can immediately feel a newfound closeness to your S.O. when you listen to a playlist they made of the music that got them through high school, for instance. Bring on the Simple Plan. 7. Reveal one new thing you each want to try in bed. It’s a no-brainer that fulfilling each other’s sexual fantasies is a bond-booster. If having the talk up-front feels too stilted or broad, you can take individual surveys (and share only the results of the things you both are open to trying) and take it from there ... directly to the bedroom.
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