Infatuation Rules
Photo: Vie Studio
You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs. You feel safe with them. ... They listen. ... They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ... You can communicate easily. ... They encourage you to do your own thing. ... You trust each other. ... They make an effort. ... You know you can collaborate or compromise. More items... •
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Read More »Share on Pinterest Wavebreak Media/Offset Images Romantic love can feel pretty fantastic. There’s a reason why love features as a central topic in so many stories throughout the centuries of human history. Still, love isn’t always wonderful. In real life, it’s often unpredictable, frustrating, even painful. While it certainly can offer plenty of rewards, these benefits don’t generally come without some dedicated effort and willingness to accept some challenges as part of the process. When you love someone, you choose to nurture the first stirrings of attraction, feeding those early feelings and strengthening them to weather stressors to come. The work involved may not always feel easy. Yet many people find the reward — mutual, lasting love — well worth the investment. People often say you’ll just know when someone loves you. There’s some truth to that, though it may not show up in the extravagant gestures you see in the media. You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs. You feel safe with them Safety is a cornerstone of loving relationships. A partner who loves you won’t physically hurt you or damage your possessions. They also won’t threaten or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do, make decisions for you, or cut you off from your social support. Feeling safe also means feeling free to make your own decisions and express yourself without fearing their response. When you share opinions and goals, you receive encouragement, not putdowns or criticism. Everyone experiences annoyance and anger on occasion, but it’s possible to express anger in safe, healthy ways. A partner who loves you won’t threaten you or use anger to punish you or make you afraid. If they do have an angry outburst, they might agree right away to get help — not just to improve for themselves, but also because they saw your fear and want to help you feel safe again. They listen A partner who loves you will take an active interest in the details of your life. They’ll listen actively by asking questions and waiting their turn to share instead of immediately diverting the conversation toward their own experiences. You get the sense they really care, instead of feeling brushed off with a distracted “Uh huh” or “Wow, that sucks.” While they may not hear or remember every word you say, they’ll generally have a pretty solid awareness of the things that matter most: your likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, friendships and family relationships, and so on. In a healthy relationship, partners acknowledge the bad as well as the good. When you bring up concerns or relationship problem, they’ll consider your feelings instead of ignoring you or trying to minimize your distress. They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you No matter how much you and your partner share, you’re different people, so you won’t feel the same way about everything. Someone who loves you will accept your individual ideas and feelings as part of who you are. They might engage in some respectful debate, but they’ll show interest in your perspective instead of insisting you take their side. A loving partner may offer guidance and advice when asked, but they won’t try to control your choices or behavior. They also won’t withhold affection or criticize you until you agree with them. Generally speaking, you’ll feel comfortable when agreeing to disagree. You can communicate easily Love requires open, honest communication. This doesn’t mean sharing every thought you have. Everyone has some private feelings, and there’s nothing wrong with keeping these to yourself. Your partner will probably do a thing or two that frustrates you over the course of your relationship, whether that’s snoring or getting so caught up in a TV show they forget to pick you up from work. Sometimes, you might find it more productive to vent to a friend about these minor irritations instead of picking at every little annoyance. Still, you probably can’t read each other’s minds, so to help your relationship thrive, you have to talk through the issues that really matter. A partner who loves you will acknowledge the need to communicate and show up, physically and mentally, when it’s time for a conversation. Good communication might involve: discussing emotions
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Read More »They respect you Loving relationships can’t thrive without respect. A partner who respects you will show that they value you and your time together. They’ll also support your choices, even when they don’t agree. Other signs of respect to look for include: honesty
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