Infatuation Rules
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How do you know someone is not for you?

8 Glaring Signs Someone Isn't Meant for You You can't be honest with them. ... You're constantly on and off. ... You don't have any shared interests. ... You run in different social circles. ... You want different things. ... Your relationship is not a priority. ... You don't satisfy each other's needs. ... You have a lot of doubts.

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Do you think that in this world of 7 billion people there is someone out there you’re destined to be with?

If that sounds too good to be true, psychology is here to tell you that it probably is. Years and years of research on healthy, long-lasting relationships have taught us that soulmates are created not born. That kind of love doesn’t just happen overnight. It takes a lot of patience and dedication. Studies show that couples’ compatibility is directly related to the quality of their relationship. So the more compatible you and your partner are, the happier you’re likely to be. If you think you and your partner don’t have the right compatibility, you risk holding each other back by staying in an unhealthy unfulfilling relationship with the wrong person. With that said, here are eight important warning signs that you and your partner may not be right for each other.

1. You can’t be honest with them

Do you feel like you just can’t be honest with your partner sometimes, about how you’re feeling what you’re thinking or what your opinion is?

Maybe it’s that you can’t speak your mind because it might upset them or you’re worried they might not understand, or judge you for your thoughts and emotions, so you hide it from them instead. Keeping secrets and having difficulty communicating with your partner shows that there is a lack of trust and respect in your relationship.

2. You’re constantly on and off

Have you and your partner ever broken up only to get back together sometime later?

Do you rarely stay broken up or together for too long before you do it all over again?

Being in such an on-again, the off-again relationship cannot only be emotionally draining, but it can also turn toxic. That instability shows that you both lack the maturity or compatibility to make a relationship work. You might think it’s endearing that you and your partner always find your way back to each other. It could also mean that the two of you are stuck in a dysfunctional pattern of unhealthy behaviors you just can’t seem to shake. Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

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3. You don’t have any shared interests

A problem can arise if the only thing you and your partner have in common is that you love each other. You don’t have any mutual hobbies, you don’t have the same taste in anything, you have opposing views and opinions and you have wildly different personalities. Even though opposites do attract, sometimes most of them don’t stay together for very long, because psychological studies have shown that every couple needs to have at least some shared interests to maintain a strong and well-balanced relationship. If not, then you’ll most likely just end up doing your own thing arguing with your partner, and eventually drifting further apart.

4. You run in different social circles

Similar to sharing interests, having mutual friends and befriending your partner’s loved ones is also an important part of making a relationship work. If you don’t run in the same social circles and neither of you is even willing to try then it’s most likely not going to last if you’re living two separate lives, then your relationship doesn’t get to be a part of each other’s world.

5. You want different things

Have you ever heard the expression, “I met the right person at the wrong time”? Well, just like with chemistry and compatibility, timing is another essential, crucial ingredient in any successful romantic relationship. The truth is, no matter how much you love someone or how badly you want to be with them, it just isn’t going to work if you’re both at different points in your lives and unable to meet in the middle. Maybe you’re young and still looking for excitement in your life. While they’re ready to commit and settle down. If you’re in a relationship with someone who wants different things from you then the relationship is on borrowed time.

6. Your relationship is not a priority

Maybe you do love your partner and like spending time with them. You find them charming, funny, and interesting to talk to. You like being their significant other and the relationship is easy. Your relationship will eventually be put to the test and you’ll need to prove just how much your partner means to you.

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Can you honestly say that you would be willing to drop everything and come running when they need you?

Are you willing to stand by them through times of struggle and hardship?

Or do you only want to be with them? Simple, easy, and convenient for you?

If neither of you is willing to make your relationship a priority, then that’s a clear sign as any that you two just aren’t right for each other.

7. You don’t satisfy each other’s needs

Do you know what your partner’s love language is?

Do you know what their attachment and communication style is? Whether it’s affection, attention, intimacy, space, encouragement, or praise?

You need to be able to give your partner what they need to feel like they’re being emotionally fulfilled by you and your relationship and also vice versa.

Do they want to spend more time with you but you need a lot of space? Or do they want you to be more romantic?

Will you show them your affection through gestures instead of words?

If you and your partner just can’t agree on how to express your love to one another then the relationship might not last.

8. You have a lot of doubts

Finally, if you’ve had a lot of doubts about your relationship from the very start, then that’s definitely a bad sign. Though you could always chalk it up to a fear of getting hurt or anxiety about the future. Having doubts about your significant other could mean that you subconsciously fear that you are pursuing a romantic relationship with the wrong person. Do you relate to any of the signs? Have you had any of the same doubts about your relationship? Well, no relationship is perfect. It’s important to realize the difference between one that is worth fighting for and one that’s just not right for you.

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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