Infatuation Rules
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How do you know it's not a date?

Some examples: Wordlessly grabbing the check when it comes and putting down a card: date. "Okay, let's see, you owe $13.50." Not a date. ... Here's $13 bucks, I need 7 back." Not a date. They Talk About Their Love Life. ... They're relaxed around you...a little too relaxed. ... You Don't Know If They're Interested At The End.

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So speaking of that date decoy/pre-meditated third wheel/whatever you decide to call it, what about those times when you think you're on a date, but aren't exactly sure? Here are 5 signs that it's definitely not romantic.

1. They bring a friend.

Did you invite your friend? No, because you'd never bring a friend on a date. If the person you're meeting shows up with a buddy, or says "Hey, I might invite so and so to join us," he or she obviously isn't too concerned with spending romantic alone time with you.

2. They don't offer to pay/let you pay.

In general, if you're unsure of whether or not you're on a date, having someone offer to pay is usually a pretty good indicator that it is a date. Otherwise, the manner with which the bill is handled can tell you a lot.

Some examples:

Wordlessly grabbing the check when it comes and putting down a card: date.

"Okay, let's see, you owe $13.50." Not a date.

When you offer to pay the bill.

"Thank you! Next time's on me/let me buy you a drink." Date.

"What? No. Stop. Here's $13 bucks, I need 7 back." Not a date.

3. They Talk About Their Love Life

When you're on a date, chances are, you won't bring up your work crush, or that person you're flirting with on gchat. If your "date" brings this up, consider yourself warned: if they were into you, the conversation would focus on you, instead some other crush they're harboring.

4. They're relaxed around you...a little too relaxed.

Even the most casual people will take do a little something "more" to get ready for a date they're excited about. For some, this means carefully selecting an outfit, thinking of conversation topics, carefully applying makeup. For others, this means simply taking a shower. But most people do something.

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How do you check if he is still interested?

Look out for body language cues that signal that he is uncomfortable or disinterested in your interactions. He may try to move away from you, cross his arms in front of him, or turn away from you while you are talking. He may also try to avoid physical contact, like a hug or you touching his arm, he is not interested.

This article was co-authored by Joshua Pompey . Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world. This article has been viewed 1,078,561 times.

Article Summary

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To tell if a guy is no longer interested in you, see if he doesn’t call or text you as much as he used to since this is usually one of the first signs that a guy is ready to move on. When you do talk, observe whether your conversations are shorter than normal. For example, maybe you used to talk on the phone for hours and now you only have 10-minute conversations. Another thing you should watch out for is him breaking plans and not making any effort to hang out. If you really want to know up front, you can be direct and ask him something like, “Are you still interested in hanging out together, or would you rather just be friends?” For more advice from out co-author, including how to read a guy’s body language to see if he’s no longer interested in you, read on!

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