How do you know if you're a side chick?

A side chick is a woman one dates in addition to a girlfriend or wife, usually in secret. When Infidelity ends a relationship, trust people to partially blame a side chick, calling her names like a homewrecker. However, it is essential to note that many women referred to as side chicks don't even know they are.

premiumtimesng.com - Are you the side chick? Here are eight ways to tell - Premium Times Nigeria

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Side Chick, this nine-letter word, is the greatest nightmare for women in committed relationships or marriages. A side chick is a woman one dates in addition to a girlfriend or wife, usually in secret. When Infidelity ends a relationship, trust people to partially blame a side chick, calling her names like a homewrecker. However, it is essential to note that many women referred to as side chicks don’t even know they are. Few of them just assume that they are entering into a relationship with a single guy. Even when everyone around her knows she will be the last to know because the guy is a smooth operator. The truth is, when it comes to deception, some Nigerian men deserve a platinum award along with a certificate of distinction because they possess the rare skill of making a woman think she is the only “significant person” in their lives when, in reality, she is the “other woman.” There are several scenarios where a lady assumes she and a guy are the “IT” couple only to realise that he has been cheating on her with another lady. Upon further investigation, she discovers that the “other lady” is the wife he didn’t tell her about, and while she thought she was the love of his life, she was his side chick. Dear ladies, this is the season to ‘‘shine your eye’’ and avoid falling victim to the deceit of men. Here are seven signs to tell you that you are the side chick and not his main chick.

No PDA

What is a relationship without a public display of affection? Simple, an illusion. While it’s not necessary for your boyfriend to kiss, hug, or grab you in public, he should perform specific actions that signal to the world that you are his. An example would be if you are both sitting in a restaurant having dinner, and you grab his hands. If he quickly removes his hands and cautions you not to do that again, he is hiding something. And that something might be a girlfriend he is about to get married to or has a wife already.

He plans and times his visits.

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My sister, take the hint. If your boyfriend regularly gives you a specific date and time when you two should meet, take it. Though it’s plausible that he does this due to his dynamic nature, it is also odd. The point is that guys who have side chicks often organise days and times to balance the relationships between their girlfriends or wives and side chick. So, if you think his visits seem too structured and have a particular pattern, it’s advisable to investigate.

Secret date spots

This is the biggest red flag and, in a way, corroborates the first point. Dating a guy that only takes you on a date to a place no one knows or people hardly patronise hints that he is either ashamed to be seen with you or wants to avoid running into someone he knows. An average Nigerian man refrains from taking his side chick to a popular restaurant or other places.

He doesn’t pick up your calls.

When you call him, he doesn’t pick up most of the time, and when he does, it’s in the middle of the night with him whispering. So I hope you see where we are going with this.

If you notice this happening frequently, here are a few questions.

Why did it take him this long to pick it up? Why is he whispering? Why couldn’t he send me a message? Why couldn’t he call me back?

Providing logical answers to these questions might open your eyes to the truth.

I don’t know anything about him.

When your friends ask you about your boyfriend, you cannot say anything beyond his name, the type of car he drives and probably his house; wake up and smell the coffee. If every time you attempt to get to know more about your boyfriend by asking about his family and friends, he gets defensive, you better start weighing where you stand on the main chick and side chick scale. The reality is for someone who claims to be serious about you being the only girl in his life he should have no trouble opening up about his personal life.

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Never defines the relationship.

Defining a relationship can be very tricky, and men use this to their advantage. For example, you and a guy might be intimate, and while you feel like there is something more between you, he sees you as insignificant. So, if your boyfriend has yet to clarify the status of the relationship, consider the possibility that he only sees you as an object of desire.

No pictures of him.

Pictures don’t necessarily mean you are his main girlfriend or not a side chick, but they go a long way to prove if he wants evidence of your relationship to exist. Unfortunately, to cover up the trail, many men avoid taking pictures with their side chicks to prevent them from reaching the eyes of social media users. Have a boyfriend who doesn’t like to strike a pose or take a selfie? Beware that he is preparing grounds for denial when you accuse him of dating you.

Secrecy

I don’t know which lady needs to hear this, but if your “boo” always acts suspiciously around you, mainly when he receives a call or text, that is a red flag waving in your face. Men are allowed to keep secrets, no doubt. However, if these secrets are getting too much with him keeping certain information like his whereabouts and names of friends from you, it shows that he doesn’t trust you, a behaviour that isn’t exhibited towards the main chick. In addition, there is also his refusal to meet your friends, doesn’t make you a priority, has zero regard for you and makes zero attempts to get to know you.