Infatuation Rules
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How do you know if you already met the one?

"You'll know you've found 'the one' when you feel at peace, content in your life together, wanting for nothing more. When you can picture you and your partner, in retirement, having had a happy life together, you can be confident in this relationship.

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Falling in love should be easy.

But with a selection of dating apps at our disposal, it can be a challenge to know whether you're settling down with the right person. According to three relationship experts, there are a few simple ways you know if you've found "the one." Those who are in love or have ever been in love know that it's one of the greatest feelings in the world (right up there next to falling asleep without having to set an alarm for the next morning).

Yet, how do we ever know if we've really found "the one?"

This "one" person you're meant to be with, meant to share your life with, meant to grow old together with. To answer this age-old question, we asked three relationship experts how to know if you've found "the one."

Sarah Ryan, award-winning relationship expert, international matchmaker and dating writer

"If you can't imagine your life without your partner, you both make each other better people and communicate, connect and have chemistry on a deeper level than ever before then there is every chance this is your person. "Finding your life partner is about being in a relationship where you grow together, learn together and are building a life together and if you can't comprehend doing that with someone other than the person you are in a relationship with right now, even during the hard times, then consider this to be the real deal."

Ben Edwards, relationship coach and self-confidence expert

"You'll know you've found 'the one' when you feel at peace, content in your life together, wanting for nothing more. When you can picture you and your partner, in retirement, having had a happy life together, you can be confident in this relationship. "Of course, you cannot predict the future, however feeling that your partner is entirely trustworthy, dedicated and perfectly complements your personality will help you to be sure they are your perfect match."

Shilpa Gandhi, certified matchmaker

"When you feel you couldn't live without them in your life. When the thought of waking up to them every morning for the rest of your life makes you smile. When you hear their voice or see them your heart flutters and your body feels like it's singing for joy. "You have no doubt in your mind that you love them truly and want to be with them forever. When the thought of being with anyone else upsets you. When you feel all these things you know you've found 'the one.'"

Have you found "the one?"

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Do I love her or am I just infatuated?

Sternberg's theory of love, infatuation is rooted in passion; you're wildly attracted to the person, you're excited to see them, the sex is great, etc. Meanwhile, romantic love is rooted in both passion and intimacy; you have all the ingredients of infatuation, coupled with friendship, trust, support, etc.

2. Ask probing questions

You need to get beyond the person’s day-to-day, and into the stuff of their dreams. If you’ve been dating for a while—at least a few months—you should feel free to ask where they see their life going, if they want kids, if they envision getting married one day, if they want to travel, what kind of life they want to have. This is how you see if you’re evolving in the same direction, and if you can complement each other along the way. It’s shocking to me how many people don’t ask the deeper questions, and end up wasting time with someone who isn’t in it for the same reasons (i.e. marriage, kids, commitment) that they are.

3. Talk on the phone

When I was dating, a weird sign developed among every person who was seriously invested in building a relationship with me: They’d call me on the phone. Hearing someone’s voice and sharing stories verbally, even when you can’t be physically with the person, creates far more of a bond and shows you’re committed to the work. It takes ten seconds to send a text; it takes set-aside time to make a phone call. Prioritize it, and command it from your partner.

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