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How do you know if a girl is broken?

Broken Woman Syndrome Low self-esteem. Fear of abandonment. Lack of confidence. Insecurities. Looking at kind gestures with skepticism. Inability to show affection. Feelings of worthlessness following a failed relationship. Promiscuity. More items... •

withloveracquel.com - Broken Woman Syndrome - With Love, Racquel

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Hey Beautiful!

Whew! That’ll preach...

So let’s talk about Broken Woman Syndrome or BWS.

Now as much as it pains me to have to break down the broken woman, after discussing Broken Man Syndrome, I would be remiss if I didn’t. Unlike our male counterparts, society does not neglect women when it comes to being broken. In fact, there are all kinds of ministries, support groups, and conferences dedicated to us gals getting much needed help. But even though we are provided with far more opportunities than the men, like them, we can be silent sufferers too. Because of our silence, we are oftentimes reluctant to seek solace for our issues, resulting in generational brokenness, widespread depression, and years of masking our problems with two words: “I’m fine”. And for the single woman who desires long term companionship, being trapped in your brokenness can drive even the most patient man away. Broken Woman Syndrome can be described as a woman who has unresolved issues with the men in her life (father, grandfather, brother, uncle, former lover, etc.), and finds herself going from relationship to relationship in hopes of escaping her brokenness. Sufferers of BWS also tend to attract the same kinds of men, because sadly, that’s all she knows. Signs include, but are not limited to:

Low self-esteem.

Fear of abandonment.

Lack of confidence.

Insecurities.

Looking at kind gestures with skepticism.

Inability to show affection.

Feelings of worthlessness following a failed relationship.

Promiscuity.

Overlooking bad behavior.

Settling.

While venturing into the dating world with BWS, our partners can experience extreme confusion, guilt, frustration, feelings of having to be our personal saviour, and overcompensation for what every man has done in the past. And in severe cases, will look at us as weak, recognizing that we need them more than they need us, and take full advantage of it every chance they get. Women with BWS can also be very difficult to love because we oftentimes go back and forth with what we want. And this is due to us never addressing the root cause(s) of our brokenness in the first place. We wind up feeling restricted, unable to express ourselves for fear that our partner will walk away, leaving us even more broken and alone.

When encountering men without having overcome our BWS, we have two options:

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Seek healing on the side, and when the time is right, have an open and honest conversation with our partner.

Or:

2. Do. Not. Date.

When choosing option #1: It can be very difficult getting the help you need while embarking on a new relationship. It can be even more difficult to trust your partner enough to be vulnerable with him while on your journey to healing. Understand Beautiful, it takes an incredible amount of discernment to let someone in, while in this state. You have to make sure that your partner is in it for the long haul, and is fully invested in not only you, but your overall well-being. Also, getting to the root of where this brokenness stems from will leave you feeling very fragile, and open to the many different emotions that come along with the territory. Because of this openness, you have to make sure that your partner isn’t broken either. And if he is, he MUST be committed to getting his own healing. If not, the two of you will find yourselves transferring this broken energy back and forth, causing you both to be a detriment to not only each other, but to everyone around you. And to be honest, don’t nobody have time for that. When choosing option #2: If you know that your brokenness is so deeply-rooted to the point where it has disrupted every area of your life, and damaged several relationships, read my lips: Do. Not. Date. At no point should you allow someone into your life, exposing them to the unresolved traumas that have plagued your entire being. As the saying goes, “Hurt people, hurt people.”, and sis, no one deserves that kind of pain. Get a therapist, find a good church home, build a solid support system of friends and family, and start your healing.

Your future forever bae will thank you.

Understand Beloveds, I have been broken almost beyond repair, so please know that every word I just said, comes from first hand experience, and I got my healing. Now it’s time for you to get yours too.

With Love,

Racquel

withloveracquel.com - Broken Woman Syndrome - With Love, Racquel

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