How do you know a relationship is not working?

It may be hard to accept, but when you notice some signs like abuse, lack of trust, lack of communication, and disrespect, it may be some signs that your relationship is failing, and time to call it off. Even when you try your best to put the relationship together, the damage may be too severe.

marriage.com - 15 Signs Your Relationship Is Failing(and What to Do)

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A relationship is a regular job where you have to exert some effort and put in your best to stay in it. We all go into a relationship expecting to get the best out of it. We want regular dinner dates, a romantic stroll in the pack, a monthly couple’s vacation, and an exchange of gifts. However, when problems in a relationship start coming up or the fights start getting unhealthy and hurtful, you need to reassess the relationship’s whole essence.

Why do relationships fail?

There are many reasons why relationships fail, including lack of trust, different goals and expectations, and compatibility issues. Regardless of the reason, the first step is to narrow down the cause of the problem and see how you can salvage the situation, However, you need to prepare your mind that your effort may prove fruitful or not. The end of a relationship seems scary, but it is a part of life we have to come to terms with.

15 signs your relationship is failing

Take a look at your current relationship. Do you hesitate when people ask you how it is going? Or you find yourself asking, ‘Why is my relationship failing?’ If yes, that is one of the signs your relationship is failing and not working out as planned. Even when there is a dispute, you should still be excited when you think of your relationship. Nevertheless, if you do not feel this way about your relationship or you are not happy, it may be the right time to take a few steps back and review the relationship’s essence.

Check out the following signs your relationship is failing:

1. No communication

An excellent communication involves having a deep talk about each other’s feelings, experiences, and day-to-day activities. You should give your partner full attention and communicate your thoughts and ideas effectively and without holding anything back. Communications clear all doubts and leave no room for assumptions. If you don’t converse with your partner often, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Start by expressing yourself more and encourage your partner to do the same. Resist the urge to be judgy and make eye contact to show you are following the conversation.

2. You fight all the time

Fighting in a relationship is a sign of a healthy relationship. The problem comes when the fight turns into hatred, extended breaks, and hurtful words. If your fights involve exchanging hurtful words and disrespecting each other over the slightest thing, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing. Hence, it will be hard to make a relationship work.

What you can do:

Ask yourself some questions. What are the causes of these fights? How can you communicate your differences better without it generating a huge fight?

You may also seek the help of a relationship counselor.

3. Running from fight

Avoiding fights is one of the reasons why relationships fail. It means that you both don’t care about each other. We grew up knowing fighting to be a negative thing. Hence, we tend to avoid them, thinking they will strengthen our relationship. Fights are inevitable, so you should be looking for ways to manage rather than avoid them. If not, it is one of the signs your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Calm down and discuss the cause of the arguments instead of avoiding them. For instance, if your partner is a vegan and you are not. The best is to look for ways to ensure everyone gets his/her desired meal. It can take as little as labeling meal containers in the house to avoid confusion.

4. Your partner disregards feelings

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Sometimes, frequent communication in a relationship does not guarantee that the relationship is perfect. If your partner disregards your feelings when you discuss specific topics with them, it is a relationship failure sign.

What you can do:

Carefully listen to your partner’s concerns, acknowledge them, and assure them you are with them. Better still, you can ask him/her what they feel about the situation and work together.

5. Not planning together

When couples don’t plan together, it means they don’t value or respect you enough. It does not necessarily have to be big plans for the future. Planning date nights together, for example, can strengthen a relationship.

What you can do:

See your partner as an equal contributor to the relationship. Mere telling your partner about your weekend plan can make them feel respected and valued.

6. No Affection

Affection is what makes a relationship what it is. At some point in the relationship, the emotion and passion you feel for each other will dwindle due to other commitments you may have. However, when the thought of your partner’s touch irritates you, it means your relationship is in trouble.

What you can do:

Have a deep discussion with your partner on how you feel. Talk about the last time you both had fun, and find a way to reawaken such moments.

7. Lack of trust

Trust is integral to a happy and fulfilling relationship. It contributes to the growth and peace of a relationship. When a relationship lacks trust, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing. Lack of trust makes you doubt your partner, leading to you keeping information from them. Lack of trust has various factors like poor emotional support, poor compatibility, depedibility etc. and is a reason for relationship breakdown.

What you can do:

When broken, trust can be challenging to fix. Nevertheless, you can discuss with your partner and let them know you are committed to the relationship. Also, you can make a relationship work by being loyal and keeping your promises and words all the time.

8. You don’t create time for each other

You can only know your partner more when you spend quality time together. Spending time together helps to strengthen the relationship and provide more chances for improvement. If you don’t do this often or your partner avoids every means of meeting together, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing. Hence, you will find it hard to make the relationship work.

What you can do:

Take your time to determine the cause of this. It could be that your partner is busy or the stress of working is getting to him/her. Understand this and make a conscious effort to create time, no matter how small.

9. You are attracted to another person

It is normal to admire other people in a relationship.

Once you start fantasizing about them and seeing a relationship with them, that is one of the signs that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Redirect your feelings to your partner and think about all the good memories you both have built.

10. It looks like you are bugging your partner

When your partner makes you feel like you are a burden or disturbing them, the relationship is in trouble. This situation usually occurs when the other person is tired of the relationship or going through some problems.

What you can do:

When your partner makes you feel like a disturbance, it may be because they are going through some challenges. Try your best to make them talk about it. If nothing comes out of it, it is time to leave the relationship.

11. Abusive relationship

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An abusive relationship is a major red flag in a relationship. Many individuals excuse their partner’s toxic behavior with passion and love. Some of the symptoms include physical altercation, stalking, and manipulation. If you notice any of these signs, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Long-term counseling and therapy are some of the solutions to an abusive relationship. In some situations, it is best to leave the relationship. Check out the video below that talks about the signs of mental and emotional abuse in the relationship and what you can do in such a situation:

12. Your partner finds it hard to change

No matter how perfect you are, you will have some weaknesses which reveal themselves once you feel relaxed in a relationship. Some of them may be as minor as farting indiscriminately or leaving clothes around. If these actions affect your behavior towards your partner, it is a sign that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Your partner may not realize some of these behaviors. Instead of grumbling, it would be best if you communicate with your partner and let him/her know how you feel about the attitude.

13. Your relationship is boring

What makes a relationship exciting and fun are the activities you both participate in together. These include going out for movies, dates and having a casual walk in the neighborhood. When you stop doing these activities, it means you cannot make your relationship work.

What you can do:

Rejuvenates the relationship by creating new memories together. It could be as little as a pillow fight or visiting a new country together. Also, you can talk and share memories.

14. You find It hard to forgive

Contrary to the lovey-dovey moments in a relationship, your partner will offend and hurt you. It may be intentional or not, but these are parts of the relationship. If you find it hard to forgive your partner, you may be breeding hatred which will eventually lead to a relationship.

What you can do:

Forgiveness after disputes will save your relationship and allow you to move on. It will also eliminate any suppressed grievances. It may be challenging, but forgiveness is known to be an ingredient of a healthy relationship.

15. Distancing

When you find yourself avoiding your partner every time, it is one of the signs of a failing relationship. You may still live in the same house and perform activities together. But when you don’t feel any connection towards your partner or avoid talking with them, you may start thinking of a way out.

What you can do:

Writing a shared journal and making a deliberate effort to sit and talk to each other will help. You can also set a digital-free time where both are away from phones and other electronic media and only spend time interacting together.

Final note

If you want a relationship, you have to be ready to put in your all to make it work. It may be hard to accept, but when you notice some signs like abuse, lack of trust, lack of communication, and disrespect, it may be some signs that your relationship is failing, and time to call it off. Even when you try your best to put the relationship together, the damage may be too severe. It would be best to quit the relationship.

marriage.com - 15 Signs Your Relationship Is Failing(and What to Do)

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