Infatuation Rules
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How do you get the attention of someone ignoring you?

Ask them directly why they're ignoring you. Even if you have a good idea of why they've been ignoring you, ask them to explain it from their perspective. You may be surprised at what the issue really is or why they think ignoring you is the right way to handle the problem. Listen carefully to what they have to say.

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This article was co-authored by Lena Dicken, Psy.D and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophia Latorre . Dr. Lena Dicken is a Clinical Psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. With over eight years of experience, Dr. Dicken specializes in therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship difficulties. She utilizes an integrative approach combining Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Mindfulness-based therapies. Dr. Dicken holds a BS in Integrative Medicine from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University Los Angeles, and a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology at Westwood. Dr. Dicken’s work has been featured in GOOP, The Chalkboard Magazine, and in numerous other articles and podcasts. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California. This article has been viewed 1,966,254 times.

Article Summary

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If someone is ignoring you and you've already tried reaching out to them, it's probably best if you give them some space to cool off for a bit. It's not easy, and it can be frustrating not being able to fix the problem immediately, but you can't really control what the other person does. Once you've given them some time, try reaching out again and arranging a face-to-face meeting. Even if they won't meet with you in person, ask them why they're ignoring you, and apologize if you're in the wrong. A simple apology might be all it takes for them to start talking to you again. If they're still upset, ask if there's any way you can make it up to them. Otherwise, if you feel like they're not willing to meet you halfway, it might be a sign that your relationship isn't worth saving. For advice on how to distract yourself with fun activities when someone is ignoring you, keep reading!

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Is it normal for him not to text everyday?

Absolutely nothing is “normal.” Some couples text a million times a day, while others save it for pillow talk. Sometimes, on super busy workdays, there might be no communication at all. And that's totally fine.

“I’m a big texter. I like to share my thoughts on news, vent about work and just have a little light banter. It helps me get through the day. But my long-term boyfriend is not a texter and literally goes hours without texting me back. He was a lot better early in our relationship, but it’s been a few years, and he’s no longer as communicative. It bothers me a lot, but I can’t tell what a reasonable amount of communication is. He insists what we had was too much. What’s the answer?” This is actually a very common problem in relationships. Why? Probably because our standards for communication are often set in the dating phase when things are new and exciting and you have a lot to learn about each other. For lots of folks, once you settle into a relationship, get into a routine and even move in together, there’s less urgency. When communication in a relationship evolves and our expectations don’t, there’s a dissonance, and to resolve it, we need to check in with ourselves and our partner. But before you get to that, here’s a general guideline for how communication tends to ebb and flow throughout a relationship. Read on, and try to point to where you might land.

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