How do you get lost love?

Five Steps to Reunite a Lost Relationship Know yourself. Before you attempt to contact a lost friend or relative, you should first assess your motive. ... Humble yourself. ... Listen for understanding. ... Offer forgiveness. ... Have realistic expectations.

centerstone.org - Five Steps to Reunite a Lost Relationship - Centerstone

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Five Steps to Reunite a Lost Relationship

Many people have relationships that have dissolved due to past differences. Perhaps you had a misunderstanding with your sister or feuded with your parents. Maybe you simply let a friendship slip away. Sometimes a bitter dispute from the past can keep loved ones from reconciling. However, with some effort, you can begin to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings with friends or family. These are the five key steps you can take to restore any relationship.

Know yourself

Before you attempt to contact a lost friend or relative, you should first assess your motive. Why is it is important to make this contact? Here are motives that may apply to your situation:

You realize life is too short to hold grudges.

You are willing to offer forgiveness.

You seek forgiveness.

You concede that you have not made an outreach attempt before.

You want to understand their perspective.

You want to communicate your feelings before it is too late.

You desire to regain the relationship that was lost and you are willing to compromise. You acknowledge that there is no perfect time to reach out to the other person, and there is no time like the present.

Humble yourself

After you clarify your motive for reaching out to a former friend or disconnected relative, you are more prepared to humble yourself and accept the risk of being vulnerable. You must also accept that there are no guarantees for reconciliation. The outcome of your efforts is uncertain. Do not let fear paralyze your life. Having the desire to reconcile without taking action makes you more vulnerable. By putting yourself on the line, you have a chance to get what you want. Learn to admit when you are wrong. The quicker we humble ourselves and admit wrongdoing, the faster we will be able to make peace.

Listen for understanding

There is no value in communication if shared listening is not the foundation. Take time to hear and understand the viewpoint of the other person. Withhold your opinions and truly seek to appreciate the pain or despair they may have also endured. Get rid of guilt trips. Defending your position while inducing a guilt trip on the other person will only reignite the flame that burned the relationship in the first place.

Offer forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful gift in any relationship. You must be willing to offer forgiveness if you truly want to move beyond the past. Offering forgiveness does not mean you agree with the other person. By offering forgiveness, you do not allow your differences to rule your heart, mind and future. Remember, while you may be ready to reunite with your friend or family member, the other person may need time to think through your proposal and their response. Don’t rush the reunion, or the relationship may not have time to fully reconcile.

Have realistic expectations

Without realistic expectations, your hope for renewal will only lead to dejection. It may be unrealistic that your friend or family member will immediately proclaim their faults and beg your forgiveness. You cannot control their response or lack thereof. You can prepare yourself to deal with their reaction. You are responsible for your actions and the way you live your life. Reconciliation and restoration are powerful if they are base on authentic healing. No matter how the situation unfolds it is important to maintain dignity and respect for yourself as well as the other person. Move forward with your life and love the people you are with every day.

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How do you keep a relationship healthy?

Top tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships Get to know yourself. Take the time to appreciate yourself and get in touch with your emotions to be able to express yourself clearly and more effectively. ... Put in the work. ... Set and respect boundaries. ... Talk and Listen. ... Let go of control. ... Reflect and learn.

mentalhealth.org.uk - Top tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships

3. Set and respect boundaries

Setting boundaries is not only about what you don’t want or like in your relationships, but also about letting the people around you know what you appreciate. Think about and let others know where your boundaries are; respecting your time alone for example. Doing this can take the pressure off your relationship to commit to anything unrealistic.

4. Talk and Listen

All relationships have disagreements and that’s ok. what matters is how you talk and listen to one another.

Listen to understand, rather than listening to respond.

Don’t be afraid to express your emotions or vulnerabilities with people you trust.

5. Let go of control

A lot of life is about how we react to our experiences and encounters. Knowing that you can only really control what you do and not what anyone else does will save you time and stress.

6. Reflect and learn

If you have a healthy way of expressing your feelings, you’re able to react to other people’s in a healthy way. Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset. if you can recognise that, you can communicate it, and build better relationships with others.

Reflect on the relationships that work best in your life, what qualities do these relationships have, and how can you bring these qualities into other relationships?

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