Infatuation Rules
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How do you flirt silently?

Long before you say hello, you can silently seduce the woman across the bar. ... Women interpret this as a sign of dominance—a key trait for boosting your attractiveness, he says. Open Up. ... Dial Down Your Smile. ... Touch Your Guy Friends. ... Touch Your Face. ... Copy Her Moves. ... Play Eye Tag. ... Now Watch For Her Signals.

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Long before you say hello, you can silently seduce the woman across the bar. It’s all about tweaking your body language, says Joel Wade, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Bucknell University. Check out the most effective nonverbal pickup cues.

1. Spread Out

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Sit at a table with one arm draped over a nearby chair, or lean at the bar with your arms spread apart. Both moves convey control of personal and physical space, Wade’s research finds. Women interpret this as a sign of dominance—a key trait for boosting your attractiveness, he says.

2. Open Up

Men who don’t cross their arms are seen as more attractive, active, and persuasive, finds a study in Evolution and Human Behavior. Avoid poses that will constrict or close off your body, Wade says. Instead, sit or stand with your legs apart and your elbows away from your sides. Related: The Men’s Health Better Man Project—2,000+ Quick Tricks For Living Your Healthiest Life

3. Dial Down Your Smile

Women regard too much smiling as a sign of femininity and timidity—both of which are turn-offs, according to a study in Emotion. That doesn’t mean you should keep a stone face. After all, women are attracted to men who seem fun and approachable, Wade says. Just lose the permanent grin, the research suggests.

4. Touch Your Guy Friends

Grab your buddy and slap his back. Touching your male friends (with limits, of course) signals social status and dominance, which women dig, says research in Social Behavior and Personality.

5. Touch Your Face

Every couple minutes, rub your jaw and scratch your chin. This will draw attention to your most masculine features, says Wade. The lower portion of your face is directly linked with your testosterone levels. Even if you don’t have a chiseled jaw, directing her attention down there makes you seem more attractive, he says.

Related: The Type of Men Women Find Most Attractive

6. Copy Her Moves

Subtly mimic the way she gestures or holds her drink. “Mirroring a person’s behavior can make you more appealing to that person,” says Wade. But don’t go overboard. “Mimic too much or too closely, and it can be off-putting,” he says.

7. Play Eye Tag

Men who frequently glance around are more likely to make eye contact with women—and women respond better to guys with whom they’ve already exchanged glances, according to Wade’s research. So every few minutes, sweep your eyes across the room, making sure to look briefly at her when you do it. “You want to catch her eye, but you don’t want it to be too intense,” says Wade. Staring could make you come off as super aggressive—or even deranged, he says.

8. Now Watch For Her Signals

If you’ve played all your cards right, she’ll send you her own signals that say she’s interested.

Related: 10 Things You Can Tell About Her in 10 Minutes

“Look for her to flip her hair or tuck it behind her ears while looking at you,” says Wade. Even better: Watch to see if she raises her eyebrows when you first make eye contact. “This is a pretty good indicator that she’s at least open to learning more about you.”

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Does he not like me anymore?

Look out for body language cues that signal that he is uncomfortable or disinterested in your interactions. He may try to move away from you, cross his arms in front of him, or turn away from you while you are talking. He may also try to avoid physical contact, like a hug or you touching his arm, he is not interested.

This article was co-authored by Joshua Pompey . Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world. This article has been viewed 1,099,449 times.

Article Summary

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To tell if a guy is no longer interested in you, see if he doesn’t call or text you as much as he used to since this is usually one of the first signs that a guy is ready to move on. When you do talk, observe whether your conversations are shorter than normal. For example, maybe you used to talk on the phone for hours and now you only have 10-minute conversations. Another thing you should watch out for is him breaking plans and not making any effort to hang out. If you really want to know up front, you can be direct and ask him something like, “Are you still interested in hanging out together, or would you rather just be friends?” For more advice from out co-author, including how to read a guy’s body language to see if he’s no longer interested in you, read on!

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