How Do I Stop overthinking when dating?

Here are 11 tips for how to stop overthinking in relationships: Reflect on Why You're Overthinking. ... Explore Any Control Issues. ... Implement Mindfulness Practices. ... Practice Clear Communication. ... Give Your Thoughts an Outlet. ... Question Your Thoughts & Feelings. ... Identify Your Desired Outcome. ... Explore Your Own Interests. More items... •

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Here are 11 tips for how to stop overthinking in relationships:

1. Reflect on Why You’re Overthinking

While this seems self-explanatory, the truth is that overthinking can occur without you realizing it. Take some time away from distractions to mentally explore the cause for your overthinking.1 Many times, it’s just easier to jump to the worst-case scenario without thinking through the reasons why you’re doing it.

2. Explore Any Control Issues

Overthinking can come from a desire to control the situation or your partner’s behaviors. Being excessively controlling may indicate that your relationship has an unhealthy dynamic.3 Consider what’s within the realm of your control and what isn’t. While you can’t change what is said to you or how your partner behaves, you can control your reactions and decisions.

3. Implement Mindfulness Practices

Grounding exercises can help you be more focused in the present and less likely to turn towards your internal dialogue. Mindfulness practices can also help you self-regulate when you’re feeling strong emotions and calmly approach conflict resolution.4 Meditation, taking deep breaths, or engaging your senses are all mindfulness practices to address overthinking.

4. Practice Clear Communication

Talk to your partner about your concerns and when you feel anxious. Make eye contact and listen to understand their perspective instead of listening to respond.5 It’s also important to practice giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and time to share without interrupting.6 You may not always know when you’re overthinking, but keeping the lines of communication clear can help you to feel more emotionally safe.

5. Give Your Thoughts an Outlet

Overthinking can be an indication of a strong internal dialogue. This means that you may find yourself constantly thinking about the relationship, even when other things require your attention. Start writing in a journal or expressing your thoughts in other ways.7 Journaling can help you put words to your thoughts and manage your stress in a healthy way.

6. Question Your Thoughts & Feelings

Feelings aren’t facts. Take a moment to identify if your overthinking is feeling-based or fact-based. Are you imagining that your partner doesn’t love you or have they intentionally started to distance themselves from you? Are you overthinking because of something that has occurred in the past or is it something you don’t want to occur in the future?

7. Identify Your Desired Outcome

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Consider what you want overall from your partner and the relationship. Do you want more connection? Do you want more clarity? Think about where you want your relationship to grow and if you see long term potential. Knowing your goal can help you make healthy decisions about your relationship.

8. Explore Your Own Interests

It’s not healthy for one person to be the sole source of companionship and fun. Find a hobby outside of your relationship.8 It doesn’t need to be a business or a source of income, but it does need to bring you joy. The more balance you have in your relationship, the less likely you’ll be to overthink.

9. Take Accountability

It’s OK to have doubts, so don’t be afraid to own them. Overthinking may have more to do with your fears or past experiences than your present partner. It’s important for you to share your relationships expectations with your partner and recognize if there were any times where you didn’t fully share but held your partner to an uncommunicated standard.9

10. Find the Truth in Your Overthinking

Take some time to self-reflect on if there’s any truth to your overthinking. Is it a narrative that you’re making up in your head or is there a legitimate reason as to why? Has there been a recent stressful event? Have your partner’s habits changed? Evaluate what you’re thinking and if you’re imagining the worst possible outcome or internalizing a belief that you don’t deserve love or a relationship.10

11. Face Your Fears

Identify what fears are fueling your overthinking and explore them through therapy. Fear can be a potent fuel for overthinking. You may fear losing the relationship or losing your sense of self. It’s also possible that you may fear rejection or feel like you’re missing out on someone who may be a better fit for you.11

choosingtherapy.com - How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship - Choosing Therapy

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