Infatuation Rules
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How do I stop overthinking after cheating?

15 Ways to Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On Find Out Why You're Overthinking. Thinking seriously about why you're overthinking is important. ... Lean On Social Support. ... Work on Trust Issues. ... Practice Mindfulness. ... Try a New Environment. ... Acceptance. ... Work on Yourself. ... Positive Self-Talk. More items... •

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6. Acceptance

Accepting that infidelity and betrayal have occurred in your relationship can feel challenging, if not impossible. Acceptance is often difficult, because it means letting go of the pain of betrayal and learning to live with it. This can often be compared to the acceptance stage of grief.

7. Work on Yourself

Often, the aftermath of infidelity can lead people to struggle with insecurities, depression, and anxiety, which can take a toll on a person’s ability to take care of themselves. Taking time to practice self-care and find ways to feel more comfortable in your skin is an important part of healing. Physical acts of self-care are often crucial to practicing emotional self-care, too, but remember to be patient, as it can take time to relearn your values and priorities after infidelity.

8. Positive Self-Talk

Giving yourself love and positive affirmations can go a long way. Often, overthinking and intrusive thoughts can lead to negative self-talk and pessimism, which can further hurt your mental state. It is especially important that you give yourself love and positive affirmations. While it can feel awkward to start saying these things to yourself, it can go a long way in helping you recover and regulate your emotions.

9. Let Go of “What-If” Thinking

Going through all the hypotheticals and wondering “what if” at every thought can make it hard to let go. It can also be difficult to stop overthinking about someone or something that’s caused deep hurt, but there is nothing that can be done to change what has happened and may lead to disordered thinking. Learning how to practice thought stopping can be especially helpful in mitigating thought spirals about infidelity.

10. Journaling

Journaling can help improve your mental health and manage your overthinking by writing down what you are going through and writing ways you are managing it. It can be helpful to reread what you write periodically to help give you reassurance and reflect on changes over time.

11. Yoga

Like journaling and mindfulness, yoga can help calm anxiety and slow down your mind by giving you one thing to focus on. Yoga also helps to keep your breath in line with your movements and instill a more mindful way of being via breathwork.

12. Do Something Active

Participating in a sport or exercise can improve your mental health and help redirect overthinking thoughts to the activity in front of you. It can help you regulate your emotions, focus on breathing, and provide a change of pace. For some, it is difficult to exercise with a busy mind, but for others, it helps reduce stress and improve sleep. It may not be an effective way of coping for everyone, but the simple act of going out in nature can benefit your mental health. You can try a walk around the park, run around your neighborhood, or take a bike ride and see how you feel.

13. Create Something

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It can be helpful to channel your emotions into something creative, such as painting, drawing, pottery or anything else that allows you to have emotional expression. Art therapy and expressive arts therapy can be positive tools for people recovering from trauma.

14. Join a Support Group

Support groups are great for people who want or need a greater sense of community when managing infidelity. You may find it especially helpful to find a group of people dealing with infidelity recovery to feel less alone. Overthinking can be an isolating experience, and support groups give you the space and people where it can be safe to express your feelings.

15. Establish New Routines

Creating new routines lets your mind focus on forming new, positive neural pathways. It can be challenging to start something new when you’re struggling with insecurity, low self-esteem, depression, and/or anxiety, so involving your social and personal support systems may be especially helpful.

How Can Therapy Help?

Overthinking can be a sign of a bigger issue, so it’s important to consider talking to a professional about your symptoms and life stressors to get an understanding of what can be done to manage negative thoughts. Left untreated, overthinking can spiral into other issues which can be harder to manage. Finding the right therapist can help identify and develop coping skills, manage anxiety, overthinking, stress, and work through feelings of sadness and insecurities. If you choose to stay in the relationship or experience difficulties forming new relationships, marriage and couples counseling can help your relationship improve after infidelity. One way to find a therapist is by asking loved ones or other medical professionals, like your primary care doctor; however, searching an online therapist directory is a great way to filter for specific things you are looking for in a therapist.(FN3)

Final Thoughts

Overthinking after being cheated on can feel impossible to move past, but what you are feeling is not unique to you. Fortunately, there are many strategies available to move past overthinking, rebuild trust in relationships and yourself, and regain your confidence and self-esteem.

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