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How do I stop criticizing my partner?

How to stop criticizing: Be realistic. ... Look for the positives. ... Don't take his/her behavior personally. ... Consider whether you need to say anything at all. ... Ask directly and respectfully for what you want. ... Manage your own anxiety and stress.

psychcentral.com - 6 Easy Ways to Stop Criticizing and Improve Your Relationships

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Do you frequently criticize your family, friends, or colleagues? Do you focus on their faults?If you recognize (or someone’s told you) that you’re critical of others, this post is for you. Some people find it hard to stop themselves from making negative comments abouteverything and everyone around them. Others hold in their hurt and angry feelings until they can’t take it anymore. Then they burst into a tirade of criticisms. Being highly critical and holding othersto exceptionally high standards is also a sign of High Criticism Perfectionists. You can go back and read my post “What is Perfectionism?” for more details on the different types of perfectionists. Let’s start by reviewing the problems that are motivating you to stop criticizing. The problems with criticizing: It’s hurtful. Nagging, criticizing, and focusing on what your family or friends are doing wrong causes real damage to your relationships. Criticismerodes connection and communication. It doesn’t work. Criticism is demotivating. We think it’s going to get our spouse, kids, or employees to change, but it doesn’t. Consider a motherwho sees her teenage daughter reach for another cookie and says, “Better watch it. I’m not gonna buy you another pair of jeans if yours don’t fit.” This criticism isn’t going to encourage her to eat more healthfully. She’s likely to feel ashamed and angry not motivated. The other reason criticism doesn’t work is it doesn’t address the deeper issues in your relationship and inside you. Criticizing others maybe a reflection of internal anxiety or pain. It can be a way of trying to feel in control of something or someone that feels out of your control. The more you criticize, the more unhappy you get. There’s an interesting phenomenon called the negativity bias. It essentially means that we all tend to look for and focus on the problems more than the positives. This means that I’m biased towards finding my husband’s faults and misdeeds. He is likely doing just as many, if not more, things that please me, but I am prone to over emphasize his faults. Sothe more I criticize him for leaving dirty socks on the floor, the more I reinforce feeling irritatedabout the socks on the floor. You may also be unhappy because you feel ashamed or guilty about your critical behaviors. Now that you’ve identified the ways that criticism is causing problems for you and your relationships, let’s look at how to change.

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How do I stop being mad at my boyfriend over little things?

How to Deal With Being Annoyed With Your Partner Recognize the Cause of Your Irritation. Practice Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation. Own Your Annoyance. Let It Go and Turn Your Focus. Take 5 and Then Talk About It. Outlook.

webmd.com - How to Deal With Being Annoyed With Your Partner

Irritation, annoyance, and anger are all normal emotions. If you’re easily annoyed with your partner, there are ways to manage your feelings.

Recognize the Cause of Your Irritation

Sometimes other people annoy you, and often it’s those you care about the most. It’s common to feel worried about your relationship when you feel constantly annoyed. This doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble, though. ‌ There could be other reasons why you’re irritated and annoyed. Before you act on your irritation, take inventory of how you feel and what you might need. Consider:

Have you had enough sleep in the past week?

Do you need 10 minutes or an hour to yourself to relax?

Are you angry about another issue that you haven’t discussed?

Are you anxious about another problem or event?‌

Paying attention to what’s going on in your life can help you get to the root of your irritation. Addressing the cause can help you deal with being annoyed with your partner. ‌ If you have ongoing irritability, this can be a sign of other health problems like depression, hormonal problems, thyroid problems, or addiction. Make sure to talk to your doctor.

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