Infatuation Rules
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Here's a look at some ways to cope with jealousy and examine what's at the root of your feelings. Trace it back to its source. ... Voice your concerns. ... Talk to a trusted friend. ... Put a different spin on jealousy. ... Consider the full picture. ... Practice gratitude for what you have. ... Practice in-the-moment coping techniques. More items... •
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Read More »Put a different spin on jealousy Jealousy can be a complex, strong emotion, and you might not feel very good when you’re dealing with it. But instead of thinking of it as something negative, try looking at it as a helpful source of information. Jealousy, according to Swenson, tells you there’s a difference between what you have and what you want. She adds that unchecked jealousy can turn into self-blame and create a cycle that keeps you feeling deprived. But you may be able to manage it by identifying it as helpful information that you can use to create circumstances in which your needs are met. Consider the full picture Jealousy sometimes develops in response to a partial picture. In other words, you might be comparing yourself and your own achievements and attributes to an idealized or incomplete view of someone else. People typically display their best selves to the world, so it’s not always easy to tell what’s really happening in someone else’s life or relationship. Then there’s the whole issue of social media, which magnifies this concept. But you never truly know what someone’s going through, especially when you’re just looking at social media. Your college friend with the Facebook photos of her and her husband out in a meadow, looking so carefree and happy? For all you know, they argued all the way out there and they’re sweating bullets under all that matching plaid. Practice gratitude for what you have A little gratitude can go a long way. It can not only reduce feelings of jealousy, but also relieve stress. You might not have everything you want. Most of us don’t. But you probably have at least some of what you want. Maybe you even have some good things in your life you didn’t expect. This can help whether you’re eyeing your friend’s fancy new bike or wishing your partner didn’t spend quite so much time with friends. Remind yourself of your sturdy, reliable bike that gets you where you need to go. Consider the benefits of having a partner who appreciates the value of friendship. Even appreciating positive things in your life that don’t relate to jealousy can help you realize that, while your life may not be perfect (but whose life is?), you’ve still got some good things going for you. Practice in-the-moment coping techniques Coping with jealousy as it comes up won’t help you work through underlying causes. But it can help to keep the distress at bay until you can deal with the underlying issues. Turning your attention away from jealousy can also help keep you from acting on your feelings (and doing something that could harm a relationship or friendship). Take a break Try these strategies to distract yourself from jealous thoughts before they become overwhelming: Write down what you feel.
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Read More »Remember your own value When jealousy prompts you to compare yourself to others, your self-worth can end up taking a hit. Your life might be pretty enviable to someone else, after all. But jealousy can make you feel like nothing you have is good enough. Research exploring a possible link between jealousy and self-esteem found evidence to suggest jealousy can develop when you face a threat to your self-esteem. To combat low self-esteem: Remind yourself of things you do well. Practice self-compassion (in other words, treat yourself the way you would a close friend).
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