Photo: Pixabay

How do I stop being a toxic girlfriend?

Read on for tips on how to respond to this type of behavior. Avoid playing into their reality. ... Don't get drawn in. ... Pay attention to how they make you feel. ... Talk to them about their behavior. ... Put yourself first. ... Offer compassion, but don't try to fix them. ... Say no (and walk away) ... Remember, you aren't at fault. More items... •

healthline.com - How to Deal With Toxic People: 17 Tips - Healthline

Does a break mean your single?

In the most fundamental sense, taking a break means that you and your partner haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time...

Last updated Apr 16, 2018

How do you fix a relationship after cheating and lying?

Here are a few important actions to take together that can help repair your relationship. Make sure there is remorse. Be honest about why it...

Last updated Nov 18, 2020

Promotion

Share on Pinterest We all know that person — the one who leaves you feeling worse off after interacting with them. Maybe it’s a manipulative family member or a co-worker who can’t stop complaining about every little thing. It’s common to refer to these people as being toxic. But it’s important to keep in mind that this term isn’t grounded in psychology and doesn’t have a simple definition. If you have a hard time dealing with someone in your life, it’s helpful to start by pinpointing problematic behaviors, rather than simply labeling them as being toxic. Barrie Sueskind, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships, shares some key signs of toxicity: self-absorption or self-centeredness

manipulation and other emotional abuse

dishonesty and deceit

difficulty offering compassion to others

Avoid playing into their reality Some people have a tendency to see themselves as the victim in every situation. If they mess up, they might shift the blame to someone else or tell a story that paints them in a more positive light. You might feel tempted to nod and smile in order to prevent an angry outburst. This might feel like the safest option, but it can also encourage them to see you as a supporter. Try respectful disagreement instead. You might say, “I had a different take on the situation,” and describe what really happened. Stick to the facts, without making accusations. While your disagreement might upset them, it might also lower the chances they’ll try involving you again. Don’t get drawn in Dealing with someone’s toxic behavior can be exhausting. The person might constantly complain about others, always have a new story about unfair treatment, or even accuse you of wronging them or not caring about their needs. Resist the urge to jump on the complaining train with them or defend yourself against accusations. Instead, respond with a simple, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and leave it at that. Pay attention to how they make you feel Sometimes simply becoming more aware of how someone’s toxic behavior affects you can help you better navigate interactions with them. Most people occasionally say rude or hurtful things they don’t mean. No one feels their best all the time, and being in a bad mood can make you lash out. This isn’t necessarily toxic. But ask yourself if put-downs, lies, or other types of emotional and verbal abuse characterize most of your interactions. Do they apologize or seem to notice how what they say or do affects you? Personal struggles don’t excuse abuse, and you don’t have to accept it, either. Talk to them about their behavior Someone who gossips, manipulates others, or creates dramatic situations night not realize how their behavior affects you or anyone else. An open conversation may help them realize this behavior is unacceptable. To keep things neutral, try to stick to “I statements,” which feel less accusatory for the other person, and set boundaries that work for you. Here are some examples of this in action: “I feel uncomfortable when I hear unkind things about our co-workers. I won’t participate in those conversations.” “I value trust in friendship, so I can’t continue this friendship if you lie to me again. Put yourself first On the flip side, behavior doesn’t have to be abuse or spiteful to be toxic. Other behaviors can be just as damaging. Maybe the person in question “desperately needs” your help to get them out of a bind — every time you see them. Or, Sueskind says, “you’re always giving and they’re always taking, or you feel like their emotional stability depends on you.” You might value your relationship with this person, but don’t offer support at the risk of your own well-being. “Healthy relationships involve give and take,” Sueskind explains. In other words, you offer support, but you receive support, too. Taking care of yourself involves making sure you have enough emotional energy to meet your own needs. This may not happen when you’re giving everything to someone who doesn’t offer anything in return. Offer compassion, but don’t try to fix them People can change, but they have to be willing to put in the work to do so. You might want to help someone you care about instead of writing them completely out of your life. But, while you can always offer compassion and kindness, you likely won’t be able to change them. At the end of the day, they have to commit to putting in the effort. Trying to help someone change before they’re ready can sap your emotional resources further.

What is the most common day for couples to break up?

Break ups are an inevitable part of life, but according to the statistics, there is one particular day that is the worst for relationship...

Last updated Jun 25, 2022

What relationship anxiety can look like?

Symptoms of relationship anxiety may include self-silencing and excessive reassurance-seeking. People with relationship anxiety may also crave...

Last updated Mar 20, 2020

Promotion

Say no (and walk away) Have a hard time turning people down? You aren’t alone. Sticking to a refusal can also be tough, especially when someone tries to guilt trip you into changing your mind. But if you do decide to say, “No,” don’t back down. This may prove challenging, especially when they use a dramatic outburst to try to get their way. But the more you practice saying “no” to things you aren’t comfortable with, the easier it becomes. Removing yourself from the situation can help you avoid scenes. If you can’t physically leave, make it clear you’re no longer involved in the discussion. Say “excuse me” and turn away, for example. Remember, you aren’t at fault Toxic behavior can make you feel like you did something wrong, even when you know you didn’t. It’s tough to face attacks from someone who behaves in a toxic manner. They might get personal, try to twist your words, or accuse you of wanting to hurt them. At some point, you might even second guess yourself and rack your brain for something you might’ve done. But remind yourself their behavior has nothing to do with you. Restate your boundaries and try not to take their spite personally. Take deep breaths to calm yourself or mindfully acknowledge their words so you can let them go without being affected. Make yourself unavailable People who act in a toxic way “can often sense who they can manipulate,” Sueskind says. “They may move on when they see their tactics don’t work on you.” If you’re never available, they might eventually stop trying to engage. This strategy can be particularly helpful at work, where you’re bound to have plenty of honest excuses, like: “Sorry, I have too much work to chat.” “Got to prep for that meeting, so I can’t talk!” You might face some passive-aggressive remarks or outright accusations when you make your excuses. Try not to respond, even if you feel upset. Remember: It’s not about you. Limit your time together Do you dread seeing a particular person? Feel anxious or stressed beforehand? Take these feelings as a sign you may want to see them less. People who behave toxically tend to focus on themselves and what they want. They might blame you or other people for any problems they have and show little interest in your feelings or needs. This can make spending time with them unpleasant. If you’re dealing with someone who picks fights with your or repeatedly pushes your boundaries, consider scaling back the amount of time you spend with them. When you can’t avoid the person If you can’t completely avoid or scale back the amount of time you spend with someone, you still have options. Set boundaries “Boundaries are essential,” Sueskind says. Setting boundaries involves deciding what you will and won’t tolerate. Communicate these boundaries clearly and stick to them. Maybe you don’t mind listening to your co-worker’s dramatic stories, even the obviously fictional ones. But you draw your line at verbal abuse or gossip. So when they start mocking another co-worker, say, “like I said, I’m not interested in this type of conversation.” Leave the room if you can or try putting on headphones. Have an exit strategy If you’re stuck in a toxic conversation and don’t see an easy way out, you might worry that leaving seems rude, especially if you’re talking to a supervisor. But it’s entirely possible to leave politely. If it helps, consider coming up with a few go-to lines ahead of time that you can pull out as needed. Try something like, “I’m sorry, but I have to stop you. I’ve got a lot of work, so I can’t chat right now” or, “Sorry, I’m waiting on an important phone call and can’t get into this right now.” Change your routine Does a family member always catch you when you’re studying or hold you up on your way to work? Maybe a co-worker always complains at lunch about how horribly everyone treats them. Ideally, they’d respect the boundaries you set, but this doesn’t always happen. While it may not seem fair that you’re the one who has to change, it’s often worth it for your own well-being Switching up your routine can help you avoid getting pulled in to conversations you’d rather skip. Try eating lunch somewhere besides the break room, wearing headphones, or reading a book. Avoiding family members can be harder. Try having a respectful but firm conversation about needing to focus on your studies. If you’re on the way out the door, practice your quick exit strategy: “Sorry, I’m late!” Encourage them to get help It’s often difficult to understand why people behave in toxic ways. But it might help to consider that they might be dealing with some personal challenges that are causing them to lash out. This doesn’t excuse problematic behavior, but it can help explain it. If you have a close relationship with someone who behaves in a toxic way, consider pointing out some harmful behaviors and explaining how they affect others (if you feel comfortable doing so). If they seem receptive, encourage them to talk to a therapist about why they act the way they do. “Psychotherapy can help people identify problematic behaviors and learn to manage their emotions and reactions in healthier ways,” Sueskind says. Don’t get personal Sueskind recommends keeping interactions with the other person superficial. “Be clear about how you are and aren’t willing to engage,” she suggests. Toxic behavior can involve gossiping, oversharing personal details, or using personal information to provoke reactions. If you know someone who does these things, keep your conversations light and insignificant. Shut down attempts at prying or oversharing with, “Actually, I prefer not to talk about my relationship at work.” Maintain calm You might wonder how it’s possible to stay calm around the other person when just thinking about crossing paths makes your heart pound. Stay grounded Next time you feel anxious in an interaction, try grounding yourself with these tips: Breathe slowly and deeply.

Try relaxing your muscles instead of tensing them.

What to wear to look seductive?

Each should leave you feeling comfortable, poised, and full of confidence - exactly where you want to be. Tempt with a strapless neckline. Let your...

Last updated Apr 24, 2020

Will a guy miss you during no contact?

Because the truth is, during no contact with your ex, they will start to miss you no matter what. What they do with that feeling is dependent on...

Last updated Mar 11, 2021

Promotion

Let the words wash over you and silently repeat a calming mantra.

Distract yourself if the situation allows. Doodle, fidget with an object, or close your eyes and visualize your favorite place. Work with a therapist If you have to stay involved with the person, consider getting help from a mental health professional. Therapists are trained to help people work through difficult situations like these and can offer compassionate, judgment-free support that fits your circumstances.

healthline.com - How to Deal With Toxic People: 17 Tips - Healthline

Why do marriages fall apart?

There are obvious reasons -- domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, extramarital affairs, totally -- but what ends most marriage is something...

Last updated Mar 31, 2021

How do I look more feminine as a girl?

How to Look More Feminine Grow Longer Hair. You don't have to give up on being more feminine if you prefer short hair, but long hair is widely...

Last updated Mar 21, 2018

Promotion

What language did Adam and Eve speak?

The Adamic language The Adamic language, according to Jewish tradition (as recorded in the midrashim) and some Christians, is the language spoken...

Last updated Jan 7, 2022

Promotion

How much is 100k views on YouTube?

For example, if your RPM is $5 and you get 100,000 views per month, you can earn $500 per month. So, while you'll need to have a minimum number of...

Last updated Sep 22, 2019