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How do I stop anxiety from ruining my relationship?

8 Ways to Deal With Anxiety in a Relationship Identify What Is Driving Your Anxiety. ... Be Honest About What You're Feeling. ... Use Self-Soothing Techniques When Anxiety Levels Rise. ... Work on Building Trust With Supportive People. ... Address Conflict or Differences of Opinion. More items...

choosingtherapy.com - Relationship Anxiety: Signs, Causes, & 8 Ways to Overcome

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What Causes Relationship Anxiety?

There can be many underlying causes behind doubts and insecurity in relationships, including: Emotional neglect or abuse, causing low self-esteem or low self-worth due to past trauma Attachment difficulties stemming from relationships with your parents or caregivers at a young age

Having parents who were significantly intrusive or disengaged

General anxiety that manifests as worry about relationships

8 Ways to Deal With Anxiety in a Relationship

Effectively coping with your relationship anxiety often begins with understanding any underlying anxiety you may have by working with a licensed therapist as a guide. It’s also important to be open and honest with your partner, who may be able to help calm your anxiety and make you feel more secure. Here are eight tips for dealing with relationship anxiety in a healthy way:

1. Identify What Is Driving Your Anxiety

Is it fear? Low self-esteem? Lack of confidence? Shame? Assessing the root of your anxiety and drawing connections to previous experiences or how you were raised can increase your awareness. Sometimes, we feel insecure because we lack confidence in the ability to choose healthy relationships for ourselves.3

2. Be Honest About What You’re Feeling

While you may not want to express your feelings at the height of anxiety, expressing yourself is important. Lack of communication can hurt your relationship, whereas healthy communication enhances and deepens your relationship. It also keeps the lines of communication open. Let the supportive people in your life into your inner world.

3. Use Self-Soothing Techniques When Anxiety Levels Rise

Many times, anxiety can be accompanied by physical reactions, including rapid heart rate, chest tightness, or lightheadedness.4 Practice body scanning techniques to increase your self-awareness. Deep breathing, guided meditation, yoga, or doing an activity that focuses on one of your five senses are ways to self-soothe. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box when looking for anxiety remedies that work for you. There are new modalities like havening being developed to help people deal with the body’s stress response that happens during moments of anxiety.

4. Work on Building Trust With Supportive People

While it may be difficult, building trust in relationships is essential for maintaining healthy connections. Make time for the people in your life who love you. Trust isn’t built overnight, and it comes through time and experiences as well as consistent, practiced behaviors.5 Not addressing relationship conflict can lead to resentment and the breakdown of the relationship. While conflict is unavoidable, it’s important to manage and deal with it in a healthy way. It may be difficult to express yourself, but start by focusing on using “I” statements and taking responsibility for your part in the conflict.

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6. Recognize That Your Feelings Are Valid, but Feelings Aren’t Always Facts

Emotions come and go without warning and it can be easy to jump to a negative conclusion.6 Practice giving your relationships the benefit of the doubt and reframing your negative thoughts in a more positive light. Instead of saying, “I always push people away and nobody loves me,” say “I attract love and people are drawn to my warmth and energy.”

7. Express Appreciation to the Supportive People in Your Life

Affirm the people who have shown that they genuinely care about you. Gratitude can improve positivity and increase your emotional connection. Write down the positive aspects of your relationships and what you’re grateful for, acknowledging the role that others have had in your story.

8. Go to Therapy to Process Your Thoughts & Feelings

Therapy for anxiety is a great way to dig deeper and uncover some of the negative thought patterns and experiences that could be contributing to your relationship anxiety.7 Whether you’re dealing with relationship anxiety or your partner has anxiety, therapy can be highly beneficial, as it give you a safe space to work through your anxious feelings and gain more clarity on how to identify and maintain a healthy relationship. To find a therapist in your area, use an online therapist directory to connect with a therapist you feel comfortable talking to and can build a trusting relationship with. Remember, there is no shame in experiencing this kind of anxiety, and sometimes, the first step to healing is simply telling your truth and asking for help.

Final Thoughts

If you are struggling with the effects of anxiety in a relationship, remember, you are not alone. While your experiences are unique, there are people who understand or want to help. Start by educating yourself on the triggers, signs, and coping mechanisms of relationship anxiety, and then consider letting those people in.

choosingtherapy.com - Relationship Anxiety: Signs, Causes, & 8 Ways to Overcome

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