Infatuation Rules
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How do I start intimate talk?

Try initiating an intimate conversation with an open-ended question. Examples of such questions are: “What kinds of changes can we make together in the coming year to make it our best year ever?,” “What do you feel is going well for you these days?,” and “What do you feel is not going so well?”

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At the end of this post on the 3 Skills (and 1 Rule!) of Intimate Conversation, we promised to follow-up with your Weekend Homework Assignment. Here it is: Set aside time this weekend to work on what you learned in Friday’s blog. Try initiating an intimate conversation with an open-ended question. Examples of such questions are: “What kinds of changes can we make together in the coming year to make it our best year ever?,” “What do you feel is going well for you these days?,” and “What do you feel is not going so well?” You can also begin a conversation by simply asking, “How are you doing, baby?” or “How is life treating you? Talk to me. I’m listening.”

Putting Your Feelings into Words

If you find yourself struggling to put your feelings into words in the course of your conversation, you can use the list below as an aid. You might need to use more than one word or phrase, and you may experience emotions not covered in this list. If this happens, don’t panic! It’s totally normal! The list is just a starting point. Improvisation is encouraged.

I feel…

uncomfortable

like a failure

unappreciated

distant from you

alone

insulted

like I am not accepted

comfortable

misunderstood

special

affectionate

Asking Open-Ended Questions

Explore your partner’s feelings and thoughts by asking questions that open the heart. Here are some examples you can try:

Do you think this has affected our relationship? If so, how?

What do your values tell you about this?

What would you really like to ask me?

What specifically is upsetting you in this situation?

Think of someone you really admire. What would he/she do and how would he/she view this situation?

Expressing Empathy

To deepen intimacy in a conversation, it really helps to show your partner understanding and empathy. First, try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, and comprehend what they are saying or feeling. Then, communicate to your partner that their thoughts or feelings really make sense to you. Below are some great statements for conveying understanding and empathy. Look them over and use any that ring true as a follow-up to your partner’s words:

I wish I would have known that earlier. I’m sorry.

You’re making total sense.

That would have annoyed me too.

I’m on your side here.

That must make you feel so helpless.

Remember, in an intimate conversation, your job is to understand and validate, not to argue for your perception. Both partners take turns being understood. In the early years of a relationship, questions of trust are paramount: “Will you be there for me when I’m upset?” “Do I come first in your life?” “Can I count on you to earn money for our family?” and so on. Once you start practicing these skills, you may be surprised by how naturally they work their way into your daily interactions with loved ones… and by the positive changes they quickly effect in the relationships that matter most. Good luck!

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Jaw growth varies by sex, age, and growth pattern. On average, jaw growth progresses into the late teens and occasionally into the early twenties especially in class III growth abnormalities (underbites) and males.

The jaws usually stop growing in females around the ages of 16-17. For males usually 18-21. This is only a guide and not always true. Every individual is different. You can determine when growth stops with serial cephalometric films or even hand / wrist films to see if the growth plates are gone. The size discrepency may mean this individual has a dentofacial deformity known as hemifacial microsomia. It cant be determined until she is examined by a Board Certified Oral and Maxillofacial surgeon. This is something that usually will not correct itself and quite often requires surgicalintervention (orthognathic surgery). If not addressed this may cause severe deterioration of her TMJ and may require joint replacement. The surgery is usually done near the time of ceasation of growth as you are inquiring. Make sure to have her examined. In my practice I perform this surgery quite often with excellent long term results. Seek the advicce of a board certified OMS

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