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How do I make hooking up more fun?

7 Tips for the Steamiest Hookups Ever Get consent. ... Be honest about your intentions. ... Connect with their presence. ... Look into their eyes. ... Take the lead. ... Do what feels good for you. ... Don't forget about the neck.

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Hooking up can be hard to do! Dating apps have made getting action easier than ever but also, like, not easy? It’s not like the butterflies of “Do I make a move?” go away just because you’ve got a phone full of potential options! This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. Here, sex therapists and experts break down the most important things to keep in mind before hooking up with someone.

1. Get consent.

Truly, go no further if this is ever murky territory and you aren’t 100 percent clear that you and your partner are both giving clear, affirmative consent. Mutual consent and mutual pleasure should be your North Star when it comes to hooking up. “The point of hooking up should be to feel good together, and as long as the parties involved agree to what that looks like, you’re good to go,” adds sex educator Jules Purnell.

“The point of hooking up should be to feel good together.”

2. Be honest about your intentions.

Being clear about what you want is super important when it comes to hooking up with someone, explains sex educator Georgie Wolf, author of The Art of the Hook-Up. If you’re not looking for a relationship or you are looking for a relationship, be up front about it from the get-go. The right person will want the same things as you, or if they’re on a different page, you can give them a chance to think about it and gracefully exit. “You’re giving them the opportunity to either consent or not give consent to what you want, which is chiefly important. Don’t assume you’re automatically on the same page,” says Purnell.

3. Connect with their presence.

Is there anything worse than being phubbed, I ask you? Make your partner feel special by focusing all your attention on them. “Most people are in their heads as opposed to their bodies, and this can make touch feel mechanical or robotic as opposed to sensual and sexy,” says sex educator Amy Baldwin, sex and relationship coach and cohost of the Shameless Sex podcast. T o counter this, try moving your hands and lips according to what feels good (within the boundaries of consent, obvi) instead of how you think you should move. Pay less attention to making sure you’re looking sexy, and you’ll feel sexier.

4. Look into their eyes.

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Another way to melt your partner? Direct eye contact. It shows that you know what you want and that you’re fully into them. “You want to be focused on the other person. This way, you get a better idea if they’re into what you’re doing and you create a real connection,” says Julie Melillo, a dating coach based in Manhattan.

5. Take the lead.

Sometimes, the tension of waiting for someone to make a move (when you both desperately want to) is the worst part of all. Take the reins into your own hands and don’t be afraid to lean in first. If it’s clear you’re both into it, making the first move and leading you both into that direction is super helpful, says Abby Dent, sex and relationships expert. Your partner will likely be like, Phew, and v grateful you took the plunge first.

“Don’t be afraid to lean in first.”

6. Do what feels good for you.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when hooking up is not taking advantage of touch, says sex expert Jordin Wiggins, sexologist and naturopathic doctor. “The best kissing happens when you do what makes your lips feel good, the best foreplay happens when you do what turns you on,” she adds. Why is it good to be selfish? Your partner will feel your desire radiating from you when you touch them in a way that feels good for you too, Wiggins says. Amplify your and your partner’s desire by utilizing that heavy petting for pleasure, not just to check an item off your hookup bucket list.

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7. Don’t forget about the neck.

Wanna escalate things or take things further? Try stroking your partner’s neck while kissing in a way that gently but firmly draws them closer to you, suggests Dent. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and simply wrap your arms around them, Dent adds, but if you utilize the neck’s sensitive nerve receptors to your advantage, you can turn things a bit more “primal” and get even hotter.