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How do I know if I'm the toxic one in a relationship?

You tend to manipulate things Manipulation ranges from gaslighting and lying to hiding information from your partner. If you're doing any of these things, you're clearly manipulating your partner and are the toxic one in the relationship. Ultimately, it will only erode your partner's love and respect for you.

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No one is perfect and the same applies to relationships. Imperfection is absolutely normal but toxicity is not. If imperfection can incentivise you to grow and change, toxicity can drain you emotionally and leave you with negative thoughts. It’s always easier to blame someone else for being toxic but you need to introspect too. What if you’re the villain in your own relationship? We need to examine our own behaviour and patterns. At times, it so happens that we’re the toxic one but simply refuse to accept it. But, there’s no shame in accepting it because being aware of things will be the first step to change. Ask yourself if you relate to these 6 signs of a toxic romantic partner and be honest with the answers:

1. You tend to manipulate things

Manipulation ranges from gaslighting and lying to hiding information from your partner. If you’re doing any of these things, you’re clearly manipulating your partner and are the toxic one in the relationship. Ultimately, it will only erode your partner’s love and respect for you.

2. You are a little too dominating

We’d all like for things to always go our way but relationships are about compromises. If you’re holding your partner hostage to your demands, then it is quite unhealthy. When you are in a relationship, you need to listen to your partner too because they’re an equal part of the dynamic. Moreover, you shouldn’t try to exert control over your partner by demanding things always go your way. Also, read: 8 obvious signs that it’s time to break up according to a psychologist

3. You’re always threatening to split up

If it is normal to threaten your partner with a relationship, you must know that it’s known as emotional blackmail and isn’t healthy at all. These threats can only make a fragile situation worse and lead to a trust deficit from your partner’s end. Instead, try to step back from the situation before making a threat like this and allow yourself to calm down.

4. You don’t give them personal space

No matter how long you have been in the relationship or how close you both are, giving your partner their personal space is important. Having some space to oneself leads to personality growth and the development of individual choices. So, adhere to their personal boundaries and don’t overtake their space.

5. The relationship is all about you

If you believe that only your needs matter and don’t give enough importance to what your partner is going through, your relationship is unhealthy. If your partner can’t find any support from you and you’re not their confidant, then how will it lead to a long-lasting relationship? You need to make an effort to ensure your partner feel emotionally taken care of as well.

6. You never take responsibility

If you abdicate all responsibility only to blame others, then you’re being toxic. Don’t play the blame game because you’re not fooling anyone and only damaging your relationship. If you think these signs reflect your behaviour in a relationship, you need to work on yourself. You’ll see the health of your relationship improve once you make the changes you need to make!

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What will make men truly happy?

To make your man happy emotionally, you have to be attentive to his needs and to know when to give him space. To make your man happy sexually, you have to want to try new things and to be bold and adventurous. But the most important part is that you are feeling happy while you're pleasing your man.

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This article was co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT . Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post. This article has been viewed 927,661 times.

Article Summary

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To make your man happy emotionally and sexually in your relationship, remember to be attentive to his needs and ready to try new things. For example, learn your man’s moods so that when he’s brooding you know to leave him alone, but when he’s upset and wants to be comforted you’re there for him. In addition to knowing your man’s emotional needs, encourage him by giving him sincere compliments, like "I know you'll ace your test" or "You'll do great at your interview." When it comes to his sexual satisfaction, learn what kinds of touches turn him on, like a kiss on the neck, a nibble on his ear, or a hand on the small of his back. Another way to make your man happy is to be more adventurous, such as trying new positions or making out in new places, like the movie theater or car. To learn how to give your man enough space to keep him happy, keep reading!

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