How do I know if I'm in the wrong relationship?

You Feel Like Something's Missing But, when that feeling doesn't go away and you constantly feel like there's always one more thing that needs to be done, that needs changing, or improvement in order to feel satisfied, chances are you're in the wrong relationship.

goodmenproject.com - 5 Micro-Signs You're in the Wrong Relationship - The Good Men Project

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Have you ever been in a relationship with a decent guy or girl, who provided you with everything you needed, but still felt like something was missing?

You know how this goes: your partner is smart, funny, and good-looking; they treat you with respect and kindness and are good at communication. And yet, you feel like something is terribly wrong in your relationship — and you can’t even understand what. You see, not all relationships are meant to work out, no matter how well the people involved treat each other. Sometimes, a couple is just not meant to be. And it’s not necessarily about the lack of chemistry — there are other things that could be standing in the way of your relationship’s success. Identifying whether your relationship is truly not meant to last can be tricky. For this reason, what follows are five micro-signs that can help you recognize whether you’ve found yourself in the wrong relationship.

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1. Your and Your Partner’s Priorities Don’t Align

Timing is everything. When it comes to a relationship’s success, the time you meet your partner matters — because different timing equals different priorities. In order for a relationship to work, the timing needs to be right, meaning that you and your partner’s priorities should align. If you and your current don’t have similar priorities in your lives, it will be very hard to find common ground and build a solid foundation in your relationship. For example, if you’re at that phase of your life where you want to settle down, get married, and have four kids, it would be impossible to make it work with someone who plans to travel the world or wants to focus on their career. Friendly tip: Don’t wait for someone to become more available or change their priorities for you. That will put great pressure on both your and your partner’s shoulders and will poison your relationship. Choose a partner whose priorities align with yours — that’s what finding a good match is all about. Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

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#2. You Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe With Your Partner

If you feel like you can’t share all of your thoughts and feelings with your partner, or you have to pretend to be someone you’re not while you’re around them, chances are you’re found yourself in a relationship that isn’t right for you. The right partner should make you feel emotionally safe with them, i.e., like you can let your guard down and be your authentic self with them.

Psychotherapist John Amodeo explains the premise of emotional safety as:

“Feeling emotionally safe means feeling internally relaxed with a person. We feel free to let down our guard and show our authentic self, including our hurts, fears, and longings. When we feel safe with a person, we don’t need to be so defensive because there is little to defend against.

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Friendly tip: It doesn’t matter how smart, funny, or incredibly good-looking your partner is. If you feel the need to wear a mask around them or change some parts of yourself to be more compatible, this is not the right relationship for you.

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3. You and Your Partner Think Too Differently

Being in a relationship with someone who’s different from you isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, if we were all the same, dating would be awfully boring and our range of choices would be extremely limited. But, it’s one thing to have a different taste, in music or food, or be a shy, introverted person while having a loud, extroverted partner, and another to have a completely different mindset and worldview from your partner. For example, maybe you want to have a life outside your relationship, whereas your partner believes you should be spending all your free time together. Maybe you’re all about compromise in your relationship whereas your partner associates compromise with sacrifice. A partner with a different worldview and values might seem exciting at first, but after a while, thinking too differently from your partner becomes a problem because it eventually creates:

communication struggles

misunderstandings

frustration

the feeling of being constantly misunderstood and misheard

Friendly tip: Keep in mind that people change and so do their directions in life. You might have been once on the same page with your partner on many different things and now feel like there’s nothing you can agree on. It happens and it’s nobody’s fault — not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime.

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You know that feeling when you’re in a happy relationship with a person that treats you exactly the way you want but you still feel like something’s missing?

So then you start thinking that things will get better in the future; you tell yourself that your feelings for your partner will get deeper and more intense with time — if only *that* thing changes or *that* action is taken. Of course, all relationships go through phases when things feel a bit complicated, or wrong. But, when that feeling doesn’t go away and you constantly feel like there’s always one more thing that needs to be done, that needs changing, or improvement in order to feel satisfied, chances are you’re in the wrong relationship.

As clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, explains :

“It’s a bad sign if there is always a sense that the relationship could be satisfying if only a certain thing fundamentally changed. Yes, many relationships go through phases where things don’t feel quite right, but in the case of a relationship that constantly feels like it needs fixing, true satisfaction will always feel just out of reach.”

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Friendly tip: Don’t confuse a partner’s ability to meet your needs with your relationship’s satisfaction. Someone might be able to fulfill your needs, but not make you feel aligned with them. Sometimes, being satisfied in a relationship takes more than a good, caring partner.

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5. You Feel Anxious, Stressed, or Trapped

How does the idea of seeing your partner make you feel? Do you look forward to making plans with them or do you anxiously try to come up with an excuse for a rain check?

How do you feel when with your partner? Do you feel calm, happy, and relaxed or do you feel trapped and can’t stop thinking about all the things you’ll get to do when you get home, alone?

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free Because, if the latter situations sound familiar, those feelings of discontent, entrapment, or anxiety could be a sign this relationship isn’t for you. As behavioral expert Beverly D. Flaxington writes in her article in Psychology Today: “Oftentimes, those seemingly successful relationships can become turbulent as they progress — these ups and downs are quite commonplace and should be anticipated. But if the phases get longer and don’t seem to pass, and unsettling feelings of discontent and weariness grow stronger, you should ask yourself whether the relationship is the right one for you.” Friendly tip: Occasionally, it’s normal to feel a certain amount of friction or discontent in your relationship, especially if you’re going through something tough — that affects every area of your life. But finding yourself in a constant state of dissatisfaction can only mean one thing: you’re in the wrong relationship.

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Final Note

The truth is that all romantic relationships go through ups and downs and it takes a willingness to adapt and change in order to sustain one. Sometimes, however, it’s evident from the beginning that a relationship isn’t meant to work in the long term. And wasting your time trying to save a relationship that cannot be saved, is like attaching a cinder block to your ankle and going for a swim. For both your and your partner’s sake, let go.