Infatuation Rules
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How can you tell if someone is broken inside?

Some other characteristics of a broken person are having toxic beliefs about dating, love, and sex. You may get upset when you see people who are happy and in love. You might see potential romantic partners as opponents. People who feel emotionally broken would rather be alone than burden others with their brokenness.

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People who feel emotionally broken have low-self esteem and tend to be unhappy. You may feel hopeless or in despair. Perhaps you feel inadequate or unworthy of love. Of course, none of these things are true, but they’re common for people who believe they are broken. Some other characteristics of a broken person are having toxic beliefs about dating, love, and sex. You may get upset when you see people who are happy and in love. You might see potential romantic partners as opponents. People who feel emotionally broken would rather be alone than burden others with their brokenness. Often people who think they’re broken are afraid. Maybe you’re afraid no one will find you attractive. Or just the opposite – what if someone does find you attractive, then what do you do? There’s also fear that if someone gets to know the “real you” they’ll run away or hurt you. You may be insecure and choose romantic relationships or dates based on what you think other people expect from you and not what you actually want. Maybe you don’t know what you want because you’re afraid that you’re not enough for anyone. If you’ve experienced abuse of any kind you may, understandably, have commitment issues. You may also have had to defend yourself verbally or physically in previous relationships. This can lead to a pattern of becoming abusive towards others. These characteristics of a broken person are all a result of what happened to you. The part that matters is what you do next. If you find yourself feeling any of these things, it’s important that you seek counseling to help assuage your fears, increase your self-esteem, and help you work through the emotional aftermath of abuse so that you can have healthy relationships.

Signs You Are Not Emotionally Broken

I understand that the characteristics of a broken person I’ve laid out may resonate loudly with you. But now it’s time to look at all the signs that you’re not emotionally broken. And if you’re not there yet, these are things to aspire to and work on in emotional trauma therapy. You’re not emotionally broken if you’re willing to be open to the possibility of love. You’re able to be vulnerable with another human being despite being afraid that they’ll run away from you. You still have the ability to love, no matter what difficulties you’ve been through. Despite the trauma you’ve endured, and however you’ve responded to trauma so far, you are able to communicate your needs and desires to another person. You’re able to talk about what happened to you, whether it’s with a counselor, a friend, or a significant other. You’re able to communicate your needs, especially when it comes to physical intimacy if you’ve been sexually abused, and talk to your partner about what does and doesn’t work for you. You can communicate when you feel overwhelmed, have a flashback, or start to dissociate. You allow other people in, despite feeling emotionally broken.

Falling in Love With a Damaged Person

I don’t like calling anyone “damaged,” but many of my clients believe that they are. If you feel damaged and broken, you may not see that you are worthy of love. But there are plenty of people who do love you. If you let them in, you might just find love more easily than you thought.

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"Thank you"

It's easy to overlook the small gestures, like when he swaps out his toothbrush head for yours or straightens up the apartment even if you're not having friends over. Instead of issuing a passive aggressive, "it's about time!" thank him. "Catch him doing something right every day," says says Lisa L. Payne, life transitions coach and author of What If They Knew: Secrets of an Impressive Woman. "Whether it's that he made your coffee just the way you like it, or holds the door for you, tell him how much you appreciate his efforts and, above all, be specific about what he did and how it made you feel. That way, he'll know exactly what he's done well, and he'll do it more often."

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