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How can you tell if a woman is borderline?

There are a handful of medically recognized symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Instability in Relationships. ... Extreme Emotional Swings. ... Explosive Feelings of Anger. ... Self-Harm. ... Lingering Feelings of Emptiness or Worthlessness. ... Feeling Out of Touch With Reality.

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Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder in Yourself—or Others

People with borderline personality disorder struggle with self-regulation. Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that have positive outcomes, like self-esteem and good relationships. To be officially diagnosed, a person has to exhibit five or more related symptoms. These symptoms have to be ongoing and impact various aspects of life.

There are a handful of medically recognized symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

Instability in Relationships

Intense and short-lived relationships are common for people with BPD. It’s very common for someone with this disorder to have intense, unstable relationships filled with drastic and quick-changing feelings. A person with BPD may fall in love quickly and assume that the other person will make them happy. Typically, this results in the person feeling hurt and disappointed and can further intensify emotional swings. People with this condition may have either perfect or horrible relationships, with rapid changes in perception resulting from anger, hate, and devaluation.

Extreme Emotional Swings

Someone with this condition often experiences unstable moods and emotions. The little things that don’t mean much to others—like someone not holding the door open for you or meeting a new friend—can be either very exciting or frustrating. Many with this condition can be happy one moment and extremely sad or disappointed the next. Their moods are also very intense and unpredictable in timing. They can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours or longer.

Explosive Feelings of Anger

Many people with BPD struggle with intense anger and a short temper. This makes it difficult for them to feel in control of their emotions once they have been provoked. They can quickly fill with rage, though this anger may not always be outwardly directed and can result in self-harm. Sometimes the person might be angry at themselves and not at anyone or anything else.

Self-Harm

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Self-harm is risky behavior that may make the person feel good at the moment of distress. Many people with BPD often engage in self-harming activities, think about suicide, and make suicidal gestures and threats. Many people with borderline personality disorder engage in sensation-seeking behavior that could be harmful, especially when they are angry.

Risky or deliberate self-harm activities may include:

Engaging in dangerous and unhealthy binge drinking

Cutting or other self-injury

Going on shopping and spending sprees

Regularly engaging in unsafe sex

Using drugs

Not all self-harm is intended to end in death. It’s important to remember that it’s often used as a way to feel better in a grim moment. However, if it goes untreated, these risky behaviors can end in suicide. McLean’s Michael Hollander, PhD, an expert in self-harm in adolescents, helps us understand more about teen cutting and self-injury.

Lingering Feelings of Emptiness or Worthlessness

A lot of people with the condition struggle with emptiness or worthlessness. Many with BPD report feeling like there is a void inside of them or like they don’t matter. As a result, they often turn to sex, drugs, or food to try to feel satisfied.

Feeling Out of Touch With Reality

Many diagnosed with BPD feel suspicious about events in their lives. They struggle with feelings of suspicion and paranoia about the intentions of people around them. When they are stressed, they may lose touch with reality and become disassociated. Disassociation feels like being spaced out, foggy, or as if you exist outside of your own body. BPD can be confused with other forms of mental illness, so a diagnosis is important. If you or someone close to you often has feelings of emptiness, loneliness, or insecurity that cause irrationality or impulsivity, it’s important to talk to your health care provider.

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