Infatuation Rules
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk Pexels Logo Photo: Pavel Danilyuk

Does true love happen only once?

“Love can happen many times. If you fall in love and the person turns out to be the wrong one for you, you can't force yourself to continue loving him, just because you believe that love only happens once. You can fall in love with 20 wrong people till you find the right one whom you're the most compatible with.

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Do young people agree, or do they believe in their one true love? We were surprised...

When Aamir Khan said in

Dil Chahta Hai

that he couldn’t stand to have the same girlfriend for more than two weeks, poking fun at Saif - ‘Tera kya hai

...

aaj Pooja, kal koi dooja’, people laughed it off as a fact of young people’s lives today. But Aamir said, in a serious vein after he found love again with Kiran Rao and married her, that love could happen many times. Does Gen I agree? You’d be surprised

...

Love can happen many times

So much for different perspectives – Kartik Chachra, a software developer, puts it like this. “If I’m sitting among a group of guys, I would say, ‘Love can happen almost everyday’, but if I’m talking to a prospective girlfriend, I will insist, ‘Love can happen once and only once.’” But one a more serious note, he says, “I don’t believe there is only one person and stuff, and that destiny thing.” There are many like him who admit they are prone to frequent romantic infatuations – proposing to the opposite sex in jest and breaking up too – and not interested in ‘saath jeeyenge saath marenge’ type of relationships. Manan Chawla, a DU student, thinks that love can happen as many times as you want. “And for me, love is synonymous with ‘infatuation’. The ‘someone somewhere made for you’ is certainly not for me.” But don’t they see their future with their special someone? “If you find a girl attractive, you won’t spend time wondering whether or not you will end up marrying her. Honestly, itna time kiske paas hai? Aur kal ka kya pata? Do you even know if you will be alive tomorrow? So, why waste your time? Go ahead and date her, if it works out, great, if it doesn’t, move on,” he argues.

It’s a part of life

Remember those days when a failed relationship would prove disastrous for the couple? That’s ancient history now. Undergraduate Palak Sekhri agrees. “People are increasingly accepting the fact that break-ups and hook-ups are a part of life. Ho gaya toh ho gaya, is mein senti hone ki kya baat hai?” she says. A few even feel that falling in love more than once is quite normal. Deepti Sharma, MA student in DU says, “All those who believe love happens only once, are going by their social conditioning. But if we look at it psychologically, a human being can fall for any number of potential mates. So, I agree with Aamir.”

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They all agree that unrequited love is passé too, and so is being the silent friend, content with friendship. They prefer to confess their feelings. Priyanka Tagore, a student of Venkateswara College, has an interesting take – she says you can go fall in love many times – with the ‘wrong people’, till you find the ‘right one’. “Love can happen many times. If you fall in love and the person turns out to be the wrong one for you, you can’t force yourself to continue loving him, just because you believe that love only happens once. You can fall in love with 20 wrong people till you find the right one whom you’re the most compatible with. Each relationship is an experience and you should learn from it.” But is this a teenage thing? Do older people, who have been through multiple relationships, think any differently? Says VJ and DJ Nikhil Chinappa, “In my opinion, you can be in a ‘state of love’ many times. But true love happens just once. Then again, it’s just like coffee – to each his own. You can like a cappuccino or a mocha!” And VJ-turned-actor Rannvijay agrees, “I believe in it too. We live in an era where you can fall in and out of love quite frequently. Today, it’s like ‘It was great as long as it lasted. Now it’s time to move on.’ I also believe it’s easy to find someone to date, but it’s very difficult to find someone you can love.”

One love, or more?

There’s no standard formula for love, everyone agrees. While some believe in falling in love at first sight, there are others who believe in the trial-and-error method of finding true love.

True love

There are a few still, who feel that there is one true love. Kunal Gambhir, sales executive in a hospitality group, says, “What happens more than once is not love. You can fall in love with only one person. But yes, attraction to more than one is possible. Take the case of my cousin – he was in a relationship with a girl for four years, but the minute the girl’s parents refused to take it any further, he broke up with her and found another one. And it didn’t take him more than 10 days to fall in love with another girl. Aaj kal break-up hone ke baad koi dukhi nahin hota, sab agle hi din doosra partner dhoondne mein busy ho jaate hain.” Meenakshi Sindhi, who works in an outsourcing and consulting company, says, “Love can happen many times, but true love can happen only once. I have seen people around me fall in and out of love as frequently as they would, say, move out of jobs or buy a new phone – at times, you stick with one for quite a while, and at times, you find a new and better one and don’t think about the previous one. But I would personally wait for the one love of my life.”

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Many take inspiration from love stories that have passed the test of time. Parikrama band member Srijan Mahajan’s parents fell in love when they were 19, and are still together. “Even I am in a relationship presently. And all I can say is that true love is not dead. It is very much alive,” he insists.

Pyar ka super-hit formula

...nahin hota. That’s what all of them agree on. They detest all the theories attached to this emotion, insisting that love can’t be generalised. Actress Minissha Lamba feels, “Love is a funny emotion. There is no formula. If you’re one of the lucky few to find love, hold on to it.” To sum it up, Rhema Baxter, an MA student at Hansraj College, quotes Shakespeare, “Love is a condition of the mind, where the mind is out of condition.”

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