Infatuation Rules
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Does emotional cheating have to be romantic?

Though there often can be an underlying romantic or erotic energy in emotional cheating, it can also occur without the element of romance or eroticism present.

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"Emotional cheating" is a particular type of secretive, sustained closeness with someone who isn't your primary partner. It's one person making a unilateral decision to cultivate nonsexual intimacy with someone other than their primary romantic partner in a way that weakens or undermines the relationship. Many see this type of connection as having an erotic component to it. Though there often can be an underlying romantic or erotic energy in emotional cheating, it can also occur without the element of romance or eroticism present. I've worked with couples who feel "emotionally cheated on" by partners who share too much with friends, work colleagues, or even family members—people with whom there's no romantic frisson whatsoever. Nonetheless, they've experienced it as "emotional cheating" because their partners have engaged in an inappropriately deep, sustained closeness with someone else in a way that excluded them. I've even talked to people who feel their partner is emotionally cheating on them with a therapist! The advent of the internet and the abundance of ways to connect with people all over the world has opened up the number of channels available for different forms of cheating to take place outside of a primary relationship. Many who cultivate this type of closeness defend it with phrases like, "They're just a close friend," or "But you said I should turn to other people for support," or "They listen to me when you're too busy." For this reason, emotional cheating can go undetected while silently siphoning energy away from a relationship and leaving you and your partner disconnected. RELATED: What Is Considered Cheating In A Relationship? The 4 Types + Examples

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What percentage of affairs survive?

About 75 percent of marriages survive if the male is cheating, and about 65 percent survive if the female is having an affair. Marriages in which males cheat are more likely to survive, therapists say, because men are less likely than women to have an emotional attachment with their mistresses.

The answer hinges on gender.

About 75 percent of marriages survive if the male is cheating, and about 65 percent survive if the female is having an affair. Marriages in which males cheat are more likely to survive, therapists say, because men are less likely than women to have an emotional attachment with their mistresses.

And:

In a five-year study involving more than 500 people, the stress associated with a cancer diagnosis led to a separation or divorce 2.9 percent of the time if the husband was diagnosed, and it led to a separation or divorce 20.8 percent of the time if the wife had cancer.

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