Infatuation Rules
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto Pexels Logo Photo: Ketut Subiyanto

Does break up strengthen a relationship?

Although ending a relationship can be painful, a separation can give a couple space to work on personal issues that have been harming the relationship. 'It can help individuals reassess their priorities, helping them to know more about what they would like to get out of a relationship,' says Fredrickson.

What is Rule 38?
What is Rule 38?

(a) Right Preserved. The right of trial by jury as declared by the Seventh Amendment to the Constitution or as given by a statute of the United...

Read More »
Will your ex miss you after 3 months?
Will your ex miss you after 3 months?

In fact, based on our research you can expect the average ex to begin missing you anywhere between 2.5 to 5.2 months after a breakup assuming you...

Read More »

My boyfriend and I had been having problems for a few months and at the beginning of last November, we decided to break it off. But by the end of January, we were engaged and, dare I say it, happier than ever. Conventional wisdom says that getting back together with an ex is something that should be approached with caution. Studies tend to show that couples who break up and get back together often end up parting permanently, or are less satisfied in their relationship overall. But as with every good rule, there are exceptions – and in some cases a split can actually be the thing that revives a flagging relationship. ‘A break-up is not diagnostic of future failure,’ says Dr Barbara Fredrickson, author of Love 2.o (Hudson Street Press, £18.99) ‘Couples break up for all kinds of reasons.’ Although ending a relationship can be painful, a separation can give a couple space to work on personal issues that have been harming the relationship. ‘It can help individuals reassess their priorities, helping them to know more about what they would like to get out of a relationship,’ says Fredrickson. ‘Good relationships are based on a foundation of micro-moments of shared positive resonance, that energising feeling you get when you really connect and click with your partner. If these are in short supply, then a couple might need to rethink the things they do together.’ Getting back together with an ex shouldn’t be taken lightly. If time apart has given both parties a new perspective on their relationship, it’s important that this is discussed openly in order to effect change for the future, and it may be worth considering counselling to give your second attempt a better chance of success. ‘Just getting back together and saying “we are going to try harder” without a specific plan probably won’t work any better than it did previously,’ says Dr Sophie Slade, Imago relationship therapist.

Here, she suggests five ways to get your relationship back on track:

Get curious – curious about yourself, curious about your partner and curious about what led to your break-up. Try to replace all the criticism in your relationship with curiosity. – curious about yourself, curious about your partner and curious about what led to your break-up. Try to replace all the criticism in your relationship with curiosity. Take a long, hard look at your own contribution to the break-up – what were you doing that contributed to the pain in the relationship? Blaming your partner won’t get you anywhere. You can only change yourself.

Why do we chase those who ignore us?
Why do we chase those who ignore us?

So why can't we let go of people who continually reject us? According to Helen Fisher and her colleagues, the reason romantic rejection gets us...

Read More »
How can a woman be powerful in a relationship?
How can a woman be powerful in a relationship?

25 Pieces of Empowering Relationship Advice for Women Have your own life. ... Don't be needy. ... Make sure you connect physically, emotionally,...

Read More »

– what were you doing that contributed to the pain in the relationship? Blaming your partner won’t get you anywhere. You can only change yourself. See your relationship as an opportunity for your growth. What part of you do you need to grow to create the relationship differently and meet your partner’s needs? And how can you ask your partner to grow to meet your needs in ways he or she can hear and doesn’t have to defend against?

What part of you do you need to grow to create the relationship differently and meet your partner’s needs? And how can you ask your partner to grow to meet your needs in ways he or she can hear and doesn’t have to defend against? Create a vision of the relationship that you both want to have and then work out what you each need to contribute to create that kind of relationship. and then work out what you each need to contribute to create that kind of relationship. Create some rituals of loving behaviour and expressions of appreciation for each other regularly: for example, expressing at least one thing you appreciate them doing for you each day at a specific time. Do you want to improve and save your relationship? Our new Life Labs Practical Wisdom online course entitled 'How to Save Your Relationship' gives you the tools and insights to singlehandedly change your relationship for the better. Find out more about how the online course could help you here, and sign up below to receive a free three-day trial, special limited launch price and more free articles and videos on how to save your relationship.

Where do men get the most pleasure?
Where do men get the most pleasure?

Here are the top 11 erogenous zones for males that you should focus on before or during your next sexual intercourse. Glans. ... Inner thigh. ......

Read More »
How do you break up with someone you love so much?
How do you break up with someone you love so much?

Still want to end things? Plan ahead. Consider all of the logistics. ... Choose the right place to break up. The most respectful way to end a...

Read More »
How long do relationships usually last?
How long do relationships usually last?

Average Relationship Length: Fascinating Facts The average relationship lasts for 2 years and 9 months before coming to an end. Social media plays...

Read More »
What should you not do at the end of a relationship?
What should you not do at the end of a relationship?

E-mailing, texting, or talking on the phone may sound easier, but it's usually not the best option. And don't ask a friend to deliver the news for...

Read More »