Infatuation Rules
Photo: Matthias Groeneveld
They are only generous with money in public. To narcissists, spending large amounts of money on others can be a way to get people to like them. They may be stingy in private, for example, but cover dinner for colleagues or give gifts just for show.
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Read More »Narcissists are one of the most challenging personalities to be around. Unfortunately, some of the most common narcissistic traits — grandiosity, superiority, entitlement and a lack of empathy — have been on the rise in recent years. Even worse, these traits often go unnoticed or are ignored, particularly from people who don't know about narcissism or have other vulnerabilities such as low self-esteem. As a psychologist who studies extreme self-involvement, I've found that narcissism is a maladaptive personality type that can impact the mental health and functioning of those who come into contact with it — especially when money is involved. Narcissists seek power over others to feel better about themselves, and money is a tool they use to manipulate and control. Here are the most toxic money habits that narcissists share, and how to deal with them:
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Read More »Narcissists can be grandiose when it comes to self-serving, unnecessary spending (i.e., buying a designer watch they can't afford), but skimp on the essentials (i.e., food, health expenses, basic household items). As a result, those in an intimate relationship with them may have to quietly save money so they can take care of themselves. This is what I call the "narcissistic survival skim," and I see it all the time. As awful as it may be, it can feel much easier than having an argument with the narcissist. This behavior pattern is also prevalent in business. Think of a founder or CEO who barely pays their staff, but uses company funds to fly first class and book luxury hotels. What to do: Given their self-serving mindset, it's difficult for narcissists to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. If this dynamic is impacting your ability to put food on the table or effectively run a business, have an honest conversation with them. Then take a step back and reflect on whether the relationship is worth holding on to.
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