Infatuation Rules
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko Pexels Logo Photo: Tima Miroshnichenko

Do mothers favor daughters over sons?

Whilst parents may not intend to treat sons and daughters differently, research shows that they do. Sons appear to get preferential treatment in that they receive more helpful praise, more time is invested in them, and their abilities are often thought of in higher regard.

What is hoovering in relationships?
What is hoovering in relationships?

Hoovering is a manipulation tactic used to “suck” victims back into toxic relationship cycles. Someone who hoovers fears that their target will...

Read More »
Will a narcissist cheat on you?
Will a narcissist cheat on you?

Not all narcissists cheat, but rates of infidelity are higher among them. Unlike conventional cheaters, narcissistic cheaters can feel greater...

Read More »

It is interesting to consider how parents treat and think about their children differently; are there subtle yet important variations in how people parent their sons compared to their daughters? Even if they are unaware that they are doing so, are there some thinking biases to how parents respond and react to their child based on their gender?

We explored the existing research to find out: do parents treat their sons and daughters differently? For more on the same subject, check out our blog Do We Teach Boys and Girls Differently?

Underestimating Girls; Overestimating Boys

Recent research reveals that mothers of infants show a gender bias in favour of their sons. In one particular study, mothers were questioned on their young babies’ crawling ability before it was objectively measured. Mothers of daughters believed their baby could crawl up slopes of 14 degrees, whereas mothers of sons believed their baby could crawl up slopes of 20 degrees. It seems that from a young age, parents have lower expectations of their daughters than their sons.

Type of Praise

Research has shown that, although overall boys and girls receive the same amount of praise from their parents, the type of praise they receive differs. Process praise (defined as praise for a child’s efforts and strategies) accounts for 24.4% of the praise boys receive, whereas for girls it only accounts for 10.3%. Being given more process praise from a young age (14-38 months) puts boys at an advantage, as it makes them significantly more likely to have developed a growth mindset by age 7-8. Therefore, girls are more likely to lack a growth mindset regarding intelligence, and hence attribute their failure to inability, causing a decrease in persistence and motivation, which has the potential to cause a decline in academic performance. This attribution was particularly pronounced for stereotypically male domains, such as maths and science.

Educational Abilities

Parents have differing beliefs about the maths abilities of their sons and daughters, despite actual performance being similar. Parents believe that, to succeed in maths, daughters must try harder than sons and consider advanced maths to be more important for sons, as it enables them to enhance their ‘natural’ talent. Furthermore, the stereotypical beliefs held by parents influence their child’s beliefs about their own abilities more so than their past achievements. This suggests that parental stereotypes may be limiting their daughter’s scope for academic achievement, an effect that may have long term implications in terms of aspirations and career choices.

At what age is it too late to purchase a home?
At what age is it too late to purchase a home?

Thanks to the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, there is no age limit to taking out a mortgage. As long as you can meet the financial requirements,...

Read More »
What are the 7 levels of love?
What are the 7 levels of love?

According to Greek philosophy, here are the 7 different kinds of love: Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love (Of the Body) ... Philia – Affectionate,...

Read More »

Interest in School Achievements

Evidence suggests that parents are more likely to be involved with the school, such as attending school meetings and contact teachers, when they have a son. The same research also more worryingly showed that parents are likely to have saved more money to further their son’s education. Not having the same financial support from their parents may stop daughters from maximising their full academic potential.

Time Invested

It appears that fathers are prepared to invest more time in a son than a daughter, an effect which is thought to occur because fathers and sons have common ground and can share masculine activities. However, this effect is unfortunately not counterbalanced by mothers spending more time with their daughters (instead, mothers share their time more equally). Other research has shown that parents are more likely to engage with their son’s play rather than their daughter’s. Together, these findings suggest that parents interact more with sons than daughters, which has an impact on their social skills in later life.

Final Thought

Whilst parents may not intend to treat sons and daughters differently, research shows that they do. Sons appear to get preferential treatment in that they receive more helpful praise, more time is invested in them, and their abilities are often thought of in higher regard. Schools can play a key role in helping to educate parents on their sub-conscious thinking biases; this would help improve parental self-awareness, reducing the negative impacts that this may have.

How do you know if someone's intentions are real?
How do you know if someone's intentions are real?

There are mainly two ways to figure out someone's true intentions: Try to figure out what actions the person in question is taking towards you or...

Read More »
What trauma causes love bombing?
What trauma causes love bombing?

At the core of a typical love bomber is hidden crippling low self-esteem. Some form of childhood trauma, emotional neglect or emotional abuse from...

Read More »
What jobs have the highest divorce rate?
What jobs have the highest divorce rate?

Key findings The type of job with the highest divorce rate is military work. ... Following military workers, those who have a job in health care...

Read More »
Who is a true friend?
Who is a true friend?

Someone who is a true friend stands up for you. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you...

Read More »