Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: RODNAE Productions
So far, so abundantly clear: straight men do get the ick. Although they might sometimes be unfamiliar with the term and the online vernacular which underpins it, they can most definitely relate to that ick-adjacent feeling – and really, who couldn't?
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Read More »The concept of getting “the ick”, that much-memed and most contentious feeling of general cringe or disgust towards both serious and potential partners, isn’t a new one by any means. In fact, THE FACE covered the topic in all its nuanced glory just last week, concluding that, beyond absurdly fun viral tweets and Love Island theatrics, contemplating dumping someone over things such as owning a printer or saying “holibobs” instead of holidays, however ick-worthy, might be hurting our love lives more than anything else. Not to mention that equating the breakdown of a relationship with simply “getting the ick” could also reveal a certain level of immaturity in those involved. It’s all about communication, people. All that being said, it might also be worth considering a different aspect of this phenomenon: that much of the online debate surrounding the ick and all its baggage often comes from straight women, as a pushback against, well, straight men. The term itself was coined in 2017 by Olivia Atwood, a contestant on the aforementioned Love Island, using it to describe her abstract, fading attraction for onscreen partner Sam Gowland. “When you’ve seen a boy and got the ick, it doesn’t go,” she said. “It’s caught you and it’s taken over your body. It’s just ick. I can’t shake it off.” Although it has been powerfully deployed in the realm of British reality dating shows for a few years, in 2022, the discourse surrounding the ick re-entered public consciousness via TikTok – or should we say IckTok? – and this time, it went global. A new trend was ignited, whereby women the world over posted quickfire videos to the platform about their own personal icks. Rest assured they ran the gamut, from men wearing jeans tighter than theirs or riding electric scooters to taking selfies and then some. At the time of writing, #ick has over 704 million views on TikTok. Looks like catching feelings is a thing of the past. Now, for the sake of social media cachet, at least, it’s all about catching the ick.
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Read More »According to 2020 OKCupid data on 6,000 people shared with mindbodygreen, 62% of people think you should say "I love you" "as soon as you feel it," whereas 22% think you should wait "several months," and 3% think you should wait "at least a year." On average, research has found men take about three months to say "I ...
In general, if two people love each other, it doesn't matter who says "I love you" first. If you're not sure whether your partner feels the same way you do, you can still tell them how you feel—just be mindful of why you're doing it. If you just want to let them know where your heart is at and don't mind whether or not your feelings are reciprocated, go for it. "There is so much taboo around what 'I love you' means and who we say it to," Brown-James says. "I suggest taking a bit of time to inventory your feelings. Honoring your feelings of vulnerability is risky and can be scary. It is, however, a way to build intimacy." That said, Manly points out that those three little words can carry a lot of weight for some people, so it's worth considering how your confession might affect them and your relationship. "A person's proclamation of love can bring a 'not-so-ready' person closer, yet it can also scare someone away," she says. If it's important for you to have the other person love you back, Manly recommends paying attention to body language cues as well as the other types of language they use to describe how they feel about you. "Couples often test each other out by paying attention to key phrases such as 'I'm catching feelings for you,' 'I really like you,' or 'I feel so close to you,'" she says. "Notice if these precursors to 'I love you' are in play. If they are, it may be the right time to voice how you feel."
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