Infatuation Rules
Photo: Ketut Subiyanto
A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner.
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Read More »Society has a lot of old and outdated ideas about gender, and most of them are just flat out wrong. Instead of holding on to incorrect assumptions about gender (that, for what it's worth, can be harmful), we should forget about them completely. In that spirit, we have one more incorrect gender assumption you can throw out. Contrary to popular belief, women don't fall in love quickly. Actually, science said in relationships between cisgender men and women, men are more likely to declare love at first sight. A new study found men actually fall in love quicker than women, and the reason could be biological. A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner. Because being pregnant is a huge commitment, psychologist Marissa Harrison, who co-authored the study, told Broadly she thinks women my subconsciously postpone love to ensure their partner is suitable to have children with. Of course, not all women want children, and not all relationship lead to them. Another psychologist posited that the reason men fall in love faster than women could actually be gender roles at work, with men attempting to fulfill the expectation that they take a leadership role in a relationship. But it actually doesn't matter who falls in love fastest. This study does something much more important than tell us who's more likely to use the L-word first. The study actually debunks a long-held societal myth that's often used to discredit and disregard women. It shows that women are not the emotionally frivolous beings laser-focused on love and marriage that they're often made out to be. "Women are assumed to be emotional; sometimes overly so, or rash," psychologist Marissa Harrison, who co-authored the study, told Broadly. "Both men and women in our study presumed that women would fall in love and say 'I love you' faster than men."
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Read More »Sternberg's theory of love, infatuation is rooted in passion; you're wildly attracted to the person, you're excited to see them, the sex is great, etc. Meanwhile, romantic love is rooted in both passion and intimacy; you have all the ingredients of infatuation, coupled with friendship, trust, support, etc.
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