Infatuation Rules
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Do men fall in love through the eyes?

"Guys fall in love with their eyes first. It may be the way you look in jeans or the way you lick your lips," White said. "Regardless, it's a physical thing, visual, and it triggers testosterone and that gives them that hot for you feeling.

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Women know how to feels to fall in love with men. They can't wait to call and they want to spend time together. But men fall in love with women much differently. The November issue of Cosmopolitan magazine explains the differences between how men and women fall in love and offers women tips on how to deal with men's changing, puzzling moods. "We tend to get to the emotional more quickly than guys do, and we're not as hot and cold," Kate White , Cosmopolitan's editor in chief, told The Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen. "When we're dealing with a guy, we can be confused and confounded by what they're experiencing, and read it wrong. They're more hot and cold in the early phases than we are, so it's confusing."

White said there are four phases of falling in love for men:

Phase 1: He Sees You, He Wants You "Guys fall in love with their eyes first. It may be the way you look in jeans or the way you lick your lips," White said. "Regardless, it's a physical thing, visual, and it triggers testosterone and that gives them that hot for you feeling. But you have to be careful. Even though they're infatuated, don't get ahead of it because he doesn't know his true intentions yet. It's all hormonal at this phase." Phase 2: He Tries To Win You Over "You've had a few date and you've begun to see there's an emotional, intellectual connection so he brings out the flowers, dinners, text messages," White said. "What's going on for him is there's this whole rush of hormones, like he has a brain buzz of infatuation. What he's doing with the gifts and everything is reinforcing that wonderful hormonal high, because when he gets your approval, it makes it better for him. But he can also be a little hot and cold during this period because he may be fearing rejection a little bit, and also he may just not be sure. So the best thing you can do during this phase is work on reinforcing the emotional and intellectual connection, letting him know that's there." Phase 3: He Pulls A Freak-Out "This is where we really get confused," White said. "Now you're in the courtship phase, even leaving a toothbrush at his place, he leaves one at yours, feels good. Guys start to worry that they're not ready to commit. They may sense you are. Some of those hormones are waning and he's not feeling quite as passionate, even though there's a connection. So he'll pick a fight. We've all had that romantic weekend and he picks a fight afterwards or he may not call you for a few days. You just have to chill during this phase because give him time to reinforce in his own mind, there is a connection and he wants to go to the next phase, the final four phase."

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Am I in a talking phase?

In 2022, the talking stage is used to describe the nebulous start of a relationship where both parties likely met either in person or, more likely, online. It's the stage where you will probably be texting someone everyday for weeks or months on end.

The new version of this phenomena is something that has different layers, and in many ways is far more complex than its prior versions. Reflecting on what it was like in the past, Dr West says that in years gone by chaperones often accompanied many courting couples. Back then, the talking stage was also a “written stage”, because people communicated via letter and sometimes responded to personal ads in newspapers (this type of dating was often done in upper class circles, or by people who looked to find LGBTQIA+ partners). She added that “while letter writing may be viewed as old fashioned, it may have had the advantage of not being diluted across multiple platforms as it is now, and this focus may have helped couples make decisions about each other.” Your options were also limited by people you could meet in real life when dating or talking before the internet. Whereas now you can have several conversations through your phone while you’re on the tube, out having a coffee, or sitting at your desk working.

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