Photo: Kindel Media

Do love has age limit?

Love and marriage have no age limit. No one knows the definitive age when it is best to say” I do”; however, you should never put an age limit on when you make this lifetime commitment.

chicagodefender.com - Age Ain't Nothing But a Number. There's No Age Limit on Love

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Love is a beautiful thing. Being in love and having it reciprocated is even better. For many people, falling head over heels for someone and living happily ever after in marital bliss is a goal. It is also an expectation for their lives. Ideally, the blueprint, or master plan, is to marry your high school sweetheart after graduating from college or meet the love of your life while in college and then get married. Some have done just this, while others missed the mark but still dream of getting married and having a family as soon as possible. Many people believe that there are many benefits of jumping the broom at an early age; you grow up together, you are in good health, you set and reach goals together, to name a few. But I cannot help but wonder if you cannot do these same things and more with your partner when you are older. Living with certain mindsets allows people to place an age limit on themselves to have or do certain things. Existing in this realm can produce excessive personal pressure, which can create mental, physical, and emotional stress. In most cases, women desire to become a wife at an early age because of familial and societal coercion and religious beliefs. These influences often lead women (and men) to rush into complacent commitment to affirm self-worth or acceptance. Love and marriage have no age limit. No one knows the definitive age when it is best to say” I do”; however, you should never put an age limit on when you make this lifetime commitment. If you find yourself in a slump because you are a person of a certain age who has not taken the plunge into wedded bliss, check out the list below to uplift your spirit.

Ways Not to Discourage Older Loving

Focus on the reasons you desire marriage. Make a list of all your reasons and think about how they will benefit you and your future spouse. Never tell yourself you are getting too old. It is better to grow older than face the alternative. Take time to understand the waiting period. There are reasons why marriage has not been placed in the cards for you, so make use of this time to gain an understanding of who you are. Focus on learning how to receive and reciprocate love. Love yourself the way you want someone to love you. If you are not your first love and show yourself the love you seek, how will you know when it is right? Do not allow others to shame you for being unmarried at any age. You will know when the time is right. If all else fails, remember these reasons why it is okay to marry when you are older: Love and marriage do not have an expiration date. Both will always exist. Learning how to love someone at a mature age keeps you growing. If you are continually growing, then you are living life to the fullest. Everyone needs and deserves to be loved no matter what stage in life they are in. You are never too old for love.

Heart Check

If ever you become discouraged by the thought of not being married by a certain age, remember you are worth the wait, and so is the love of your life. It does not matter what are you decide to get married if you do what is best for you. Contributing writer, Liz Lampkin is an author, speaker, and lifestyle writer. You can find her on social media @Lizlampkin.

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Is fear of love normal?

Many people experience a minor fear of falling in love at some point in their lives. But in extreme cases, philophobia can make people feel isolated and unloved. Philophobia is not a condition that a doctor can diagnose because it is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

webmd.com - Philophobia: What It Is and How to Treat It - WebMD

Treatments for Philophobia

Most people experience some fear or resistance to intimacy or falling in love at some point in their lives. However, it can become a problem if your philophobia is causing you significant distress. If that’s the case for you, treatment is available. The main treatment suggested for philophobia is to seek therapy or counseling. You can work with a mental health professional. They may go over your past relationships to identify what is causing your fear of falling in love. They may give you relaxation exercises or other types of therapeutic homework to help you feel more comfortable with dating and relationships. Therapists may use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you notice the thought patterns and habits that contribute to your fear of being in a relationship. They may also use systematic desensitization therapy, also called counterconditioning. This is when the therapist slowly exposes you to the idea of falling in love to desensitize you to your fear. They may give you real-world tasks as you get more comfortable with the idea of falling in love. Hypnotherapy is not like the stage hypnosis shown in movies. It is more like a guided meditation that enables you to imagine yourself doing what you would like to do.

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