Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Vlada Karpovich
In the end, while 91 percent of participants had given long-distance a try, 50 percent of those relationships failed. Interestingly enough, long-distance relationships that began that way had a higher success rate than couples who became long-distance due to circumstance.
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Read More »As it turns out, it might be the very same thing that can make any other relationship dissolve over time: failing to take things to the next level. According to one recent survey, long-distance relationships end when the relationship lacks a sense of progress. Superdrug Online Doctor, a U.K. health service, surveyed 1,200 individuals across the United States and Europe who were either currently in long-distance relationships, had successfully made it through their long-distance hurdle and had since reunited, or had broken up with their long-distance partner. The questions focused on aspects like how they ended up in a long-distance relationship, ways the couple made it work, and reasons things may have ended. In the end, while 91 percent of participants had given long-distance a try, 50 percent of those relationships failed. Interestingly enough, long-distance relationships that began that way had a higher success rate than couples who became long-distance due to circumstance. Things like not making an effort to travel, feeling sexually unsatisfied, arguing, and just the nature of growing apart definitely took their toll on the relationships that reportedly ended: The report found couples who survived through their long-distance phase spent twice as much money traveling as those whose long-distance relationships failed. More than 50 percent of the couples who survived also tended resolve their arguments more quickly than others, choosing to patch things up within a few hours rather than waiting until the next day or, worse, more than a few days later. But the No. 1 reason long-distance couples decided to go their separate ways? Their relationship just wasn't progressing. A whopping 71 percent of women and 64 percent of men identified a lack of progress as the reason their long-distance relationship ended. Relationships need forward momentum, whether the couple lives right next door to each other or miles apart. Is the relationship changing? Are you both growing, as individuals and as a couple? Monthly travel expenses, sex frequency, and arguments can be worked through, but if you and your partner stop making an effort to continue deepening your connection—by creating more emotional intimacy, learning more from each, and exploring more together as a couple—no matter where your partner lives, chances are it isn't going to work out in the end. As humans, it's natural to grow. So if our relationships don't grow with us, relationship coach Peter Kowalke says the bond will inevitably weaken. "What I've found in my relationship coaching practice is that protecting against gradual drift requires renewing the relationship periodically," he told mbg. His suggestion for making sure the relationship is progressing involves "reviewing expectations and shared plans as we evolve, and adjusting roles over time," consciously and several times per year. The process of discussing the state of the relationship and tweaking it to become more relevant and satisfying to both of your changing lives can breathe new life into your relationship, no matter how many miles are between you.
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Read More »Look for mixed signals. For example, if he skips the affection and goes straight to sex every time, he might be toying with your feelings. Consider the progress of your relationship. If the relationship is stalled in the early stages and you can't seem to move it forward, he may be playing you.
If a guy is playing with your feelings, you are emotionally involved with him, but he is not emotionally involved with you. In this situation, he doesn’t want the same thing you want out of the relationship, but he is not honest about his intentions and instead is stringing you on. This kind of guy is either an opportunist who noticed you liked him, or he is someone who may have multiple girls that he is stringing on. When you are in this kind of situation, there are lots of signs that he is not that into you, but when you are emotionally involved with someone, it is hard to be clear headed and consistent. In addition, these guys can be very good at convincing you they like you when they want you. So check out these signs to see if you are with someone who is playing with your feelings and discover what you can do about it.
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