Do I love him or am I just attached?

Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.

psychcentral.com - Relationship Real Talk: Understanding Attachment vs. Love

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You might feel like you can’t live without them. Is it really true love, or the nearness of them that you’re falling for? Share on Pinterest Westend61/Getty Images Pop culture teems with so-called “love songs” that more likely express attachment than love. You can throw a dart and hit questionable lyrics. Are the fervent feelings an outpouring of loving sentiment or a cry of codependency? Hard to tell. If you’re feeling chronically anxious in your relationship, understanding the difference between mutual love, healthy attachments, and unhelpful attachments might be the first step in growing toward something lasting, together. Difference between love and attachment How you feel and act in the relationship is probably the best indicator of whether the strong emotions you feel are love or attachment. Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships. In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for. With attachment, your significant other could be replaceable, it’s how they satisfy your needs that gives them your attention. Emotional attachment vs. love A 2020 study of 83 young adults who claim to be “in love” described the differences between infatuation, emotional attachment, and love. Study authors explain: Infatuation is an all-consuming feeling that quickly and intensely flourishes at the beginning of love. It can be positive or negative, with features including: anxiety euphoria nervousness is an all-consuming feeling that quickly and intensely flourishes at the beginning of love. It can be positive or negative, with features including: Emotional attachment is a positive, comforting feeling of bonding that develops gradually, with features including: calmness comfort happiness security is a positive, comforting feeling of bonding that develops gradually, with features including: Love is a multifaceted concept, marked by a combination of infatuation, attachment, and cognitive changes, with features including: heart pounding (physiological affects) caregiving (behavioral affects) euphoria and anxiety (mixed feelings) enhanced attention toward, and memory of, beloved-related details (cognitive affects) is a multifaceted concept, marked by a combination of infatuation, attachment, and cognitive changes, with features including: Love, defined According to the American Psychological Association (APA), love evokes the following feelings: deep fondness

happiness in the beloved’s presence

commitment to the other’s well-being

awareness of how words and actions affect the love object Love comes in many forms: sexual

platonic

parental

partnered This 2021 review of romantic love develops a working definition. Romantic love: occurs at all stages of life

spurs behaviors reflecting a desire for long-term mating with the subject

helps people choose and attract partners, engage in sex, and become couples

frequently turns into a deeply committed relationship, even if sexual companionate love fades

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What are the 3 C's in a healthy relationship?

A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment.

acispecialtybenefits.com - Three C's for Happy Couples - ACI Specialty Benefits

February may be the month of love, but it takes more than chocolates, flowers and dinner dates to make a relationship work. A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C’s: Communication, Compromise and Commitment. Whether starting a new relationship or celebrating decades of marriage, here is a refresher course in the three C’s:

Communication

Think about how to use communication to make your partner feel needed, desired and appreciated. Communication is verbal and non-verbal, so actions speak volumes, and remember that listening is a major component of healthy communication. It’s not always what is said, but how it is said, that’s important. If a couple communicates with aggression, the silent treatment or abusive language or actions, it signals concerns that might best be addressed by a professional.

Compromise

Two people in a relationship bring individual experiences, thoughts, behaviors and personalities to the table. Finding common ground means expressing opinions, understanding and accepting differences and agreeing on compromise. If both people feel heard and understood, it helps prevent one person from feeling like they’re giving in, which can build resentment over time.

Commitment

Commitment means putting each other and the relationship first. This requires a lot of giving, and certainly some sacrifice, but the payoff is a relationship that brings true joy and fulfillment to each other’s lives. Knowing that each person is committed to working through challenges and growing together builds trust and intimacy, and helps release the fears and doubts that hold couples back. Relationships can be challenging, and can take a toll on mental, emotional and physical health, mood, or even focus at work. For help with any relationship or personal concern, contact your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) provided by ACI Specialty Benefits at 800.932.0034 or eapinfo@acispecialtybenefits.com.

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