Infatuation Rules
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Do I like him or just want attention?

Signs you just like the attention If you're only talking to them for attention, Wood says you might notice the following red flags: You feel anxious without their time or attention. You're emotionally unavailable, and you keep your guard up. You don't know much about them beyond the surface (and you don't care to).

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What are signs that I like him?

Do I like her or am I just bored? If you don’t know where these strong feelings are coming from, and whether it’s a healthy attraction or not, rest assured that there are ways to find out. How to tell if you actually like them According to dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of The Broom List Matchmaking Tennesha Wood, you might genuinely like them if you notice these signs: You’re curious about all parts of them and their day-to-day life.

You want them to see all parts of you.

You want to know about their job, friends and family, past relationships, and hopes for the future. Seeing them happy makes you happy, and you consistently try to make them smile.

Your connection becomes stronger over time.

You feel safe and secure with them because you trust them.

You’re able to be your authentic self when you’re spending time together.

Signs you just like the attention If you’re only talking to them for attention, Wood says you might notice the following red flags: You feel anxious without their time or attention.

You’re emotionally unavailable, and you keep your guard up.

You don’t know much about them beyond the surface (and you don’t care to).

The qualities you like about them are mostly superficial.

You don’t see or want a future with them.

How to start seeking partners you actually like It’s possible to build self-awareness and relationship skills so you can seek out the kind of partnership you desire with someone who you’re truly into. Understand yourself “Spend time alone, and get to know and like who you are,” says Wood. “The way you see yourself informs how others will see and treat you. A confident person attracts a confident partner.” Do a dating audit Wood also recommends doing a dating audit. To do this, she suggests listing all of your past partners and outlining what you liked about and learned from each person and long-term relationship. Then you can ask yourself the following questions: Are there similarities between each person?

Do I notice any patterns?

Did I grow with each relationship? “Understanding these patterns can help to stop the cycle of seeking unhealthy relationships,” she explains. Therapy or life coaching You can also begin or resume therapy to get to the root of why you enter certain relationships or seek out similar partners time and time again. A life coach can help you discover what you really want in a partner, set relationship goals, and give you personalized relationship advice.

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How long does it take for a guy to figure out his feelings?

Men take an average of 88 days (about three months) to tell their partner they love them, whereas women take an average of 134 days (four and a half months), according to a 2013 survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony.

One 2017 survey found 72% of men and 61% of women believe in love at first sight, and a 2004 study found about a third of Americans say they've personally experienced it. There's some science that backs up the concept: Some research suggests people decide within seconds whether they're romantically interested in someone, and neurologically speaking, it takes only one-fifth of a second for the neurochemical reaction associated with feelings of love to fire off. But other research discounts the theory. A 2017 study in the Personal Relationships journal orchestrated a bunch of first encounters between single strangers, and the researchers found feelings of instant attraction can indeed happen in a first encounter. Some people described these feelings as "love at first sight"—however, these people didn't report feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment as part of their experience. The main predictor of a "love at first sight" experience was finding the other person physically attractive. In other words, romantic love usually cannot happen at first sight, psychologist and sex therapist Lauren Fogel Mersy, PsyD, explains to mbg. "There can be a strong attraction at first sight, but romantic love for someone requires knowing who they are, the fullness of their character."

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