Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: cottonbro studio
“It's the same with sex and the classic chase - many men find the chase exciting and it strikes their ego to feel they're the one who is finally going to get her attention - and into bed. Add to this the fact that men are very goal focused and an elusive goal can seem all that much more interesting.
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Read More »When it comes to women – and gadgets – some men really do prefer the thrill of the chase, a study has found. Researchers from the University of Chicago showed a group of male volunteers two photographs of a woman. One of the photographs showed the woman clearly while the other image was blurred. Prior to seeing the images, the men were asked to categorise themselves as either a ‘smooth talker’ or a ‘shy gawker’. The self-confessed ‘smooth talkers’ were more attracted to the blurry photograph as the woman appeared to be less attainable while the ‘shy gawkers’ preferred the image that showed the woman clearly. A similar pattern followed when men were given a choice between products that were easy to reach and those that were hidden at the back of the shop shelf. Researcher Dr Aparna Labroo, Associate Professor of Marketing, said, as cited in the Daily Mail: “To get the best outcomes or products, people usually have to expend effort. ”This relationship between effort and value is so closely associated in a consumer’s mind that wanting the best outcomes automatically results in increased preference for any outcome associated with effort, even pointless effort.” Professor Labroo concluded: “So the next time you find yourself chasing that hottie, or you find yourself reaching to get a product way back on a shelf, pause for a moment and consider whether the outcome is really worth your effort.” Relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr says: “Almost everyone - men and women - put a certain added 'value' on to something that's not easily attainable. This is why can feel so good to save up for something like a special dress or handbag - and when you get it just feels priceless. “It's the same with sex and the classic chase - many men find the chase exciting and it strikes their ego to feel they're the one who is finally going to get her attention - and into bed. Add to this the fact that men are very goal focused and an elusive goal can seem all that much more interesting. “I'd never advocate game playing but if you're interested in a long-term thing it's only sensible to hold back a little bit. A little bit of mystery can go far and after all, if the tables are turned most women don't want a man to confesses undying love and interest after the first date or two.”
When you live together Plan a weekly 'couples meeting' ... Learn to compromise. ... Spend time with friends outside of your relationship. ......
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It might be painful to face, but leaving these issues unaddressed won't help anyone in the long run. Take full responsibility if you're at fault....
Read More »Confidently tell her you'd like to kiss her. "I want to kiss you right now." Unless she says "no," move in slowly after you say it. "I'd love a kiss before I go." "Let's kiss." "Write her a note saying "kiss me?" or "I want to kiss you," if you think she'd like the cute, romantic gesture. Then move in wordlessly.
This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett . Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, his own relationship consulting business founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on his A.C.E. Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expressiveness. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine, and Today. This article has been viewed 734,323 times.
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