Do couples who argue last longer?

It's not a message likely to be found on many Valentine's cards but research has found that couples who argue together, stay together. Couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who sweep difficult issues under the carpet, according to a survey of almost 1,000 adults.

theguardian.com - Couples who argue together, stay together, research finds

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It’s not a message likely to be found on many Valentine’s cards but research has found that couples who argue together, stay together. Couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who sweep difficult issues under the carpet, according to a survey of almost 1,000 adults. Many couples mistakenly believe that avoiding discussing sensitive issues means avoiding an argument, which, in turn, will be good for their relationship, said Joseph Grenny, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations. “But the biggest mistake that couples make is avoidance,” he said. “We feel something but say nothing. At least until we can’t stand it anymore. So we wait until we are certain to discuss it poorly before we bring it up. “We tend to avoid these conversations because we are conscious of the risks of speaking up, but unconscious of the risks of not speaking up,” he said. “We tend to only weigh the immediate and obvious risks without considering the longer term costs to intimacy, trust and connection.” More than four in five respondents to the survey said poor communication played a role in a previous failed relationship. One half cited poor communication as the significant cause of the failed relationship. But crucially, Grenny said, fewer than one in five believe they are usually to blame when a conversation goes poorly. “The biggest unconscious mistake couples make is failing to take emotional responsibility for their feelings,” he said. “We think others are ‘making’ us feel the way we are – and fail to see our role in our own emotions. That’s why when we discuss our concerns with our loved one we are so often filled with blame and provoke defensiveness.” Grenny said the three most difficult topics for couples to discuss were sex, finances and irritating habits. “The success of a relationship is determined by the way in which sensitive issues are debated,” he said. “True love takes work. Real intimacy is not just about love but is also about truth. And crucial conversations are the vehicle for surfacing truth in a way that accelerates a feeling of intimacy, trust and connection.”

How To effectively argue with your partner

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What are 3 things worth fighting for?

Be a warrior and champion for your full life, success and happiness. They're worth fighting for and so are you. ... Three Things Worth Fighting For: Your Happiness, Your Dreams & Your Ambition Fight for your happiness. That's right. ... Fight for your dreams, both big ones and small ones. ... ... Fight for your ambition.

onthedotwoman.com - Three Things Worth Fighting For: Your Happiness, Your Dreams & Your ...

Life today is so unrecognizable from what it was even twenty years ago. None of us were meant to keep the frantic pace we keep today. It’s insane. Yet everything in our immediate world is designed to convince us our crazy fast pace is not only normal, but that we should be doing more. No one will tell you that today, above all, you need to fight for three things that will make all the difference in how you live life - and calm it - on your terms.

1. Fight for your happiness

That’s right. Softer souls will say let happiness gently find you. That works for some. If you are whirling faster than a top, however, you must be clear with yourself and others that you aim to be happy. Fight to put happiness into your schedule. Fight the senseless guilt, even shame that has been trained into you that happiness makes you less professional, less driven, less successful or even, on some level, selfish. The exact opposite is true. Happier people enjoy and experience larger, lasting success than unhappy ones, and better relationships, too. No surprise there.

2. Fight for your dreams, both big ones and small ones

...And I am talking about your real ‘heart’ dreams. The ones that get you excited to be on the planet. You need these dreams to feel ‘alive’. When you not only fight for them, but achieve them, that’s your path to a full life. If no one has ever told you, you are here to live fully. Anything less and you will feel it. You will also feel the pangs of regret. Remember, living a life of no regrets is not only a powerful decision, it’s a lifestyle. Make it your lifestyle. Live it.

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