Infatuation Rules
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Do affairs make relationships stronger?

The therapist also insists that cheating could actually help improve a relationship because it makes couples deal with their problems. "Sometimes the relationship that comes out is stronger, and more honest and deeper than the one that existed before because people finally step up."

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While most affairs will end marriages, US-based sex and relationship therapist Esther Perel believes it doesn't have to.

It can make a couple take stock of the relationship.

Sometimes the couple that comes out the other side is even stronger.

Finding out that your partner has cheated is the ultimate betrayal. You're likely to feel angry, shocked and understandably hurt. But, does an affair really have to be the end? It seems not. While you might feel ashamed or embarrassed for considering staying with someone that has deceived you, one relationship expert says that infidelity doesn't mean you should call it quits. In fact, she says it could even make you stronger as a couple. Originally from Antwerp, Esther Perel is a US based sex and relationship therapist who believes that cheating can be healthy because it makes people take stock of their marriage. "Many affairs are break-ups, but some affairs are make-ups," Perel told The Guardian. Although she doesn't defend adultery, Perel - who is releasing a new book on the subject called 'The State of Affairs, Rethinking Infidelity' — believes that when it does happen, divorce shouldn't be the only option. "I think people should be able to determine for themselves the choices that they will make and the consequences thereof," she says. "To just push people to divorce and to think that divorce is always the better solution when it dissolves all the family bonds… Entire lives are intertwined with a marriage." The therapist also insists that cheating could actually help improve a relationship because it makes couples deal with their problems. "Sometimes the relationship that comes out is stronger, and more honest and deeper than the one that existed before because people finally step up." According to Perel, Research indicates a 40% jump in the number of women having affairs since 1990, while men's rates have held steady. Earlier this month, additional data accumulated by Ashley Madison — an extramarital affairs dating site — revealed that a staggering 99% of men admitted to either cheating or contemplating cheating. While on the other side of the coin, 39% of women said they had cheated on a partner and 35% admitted to considering it.

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How do you know if someone is not missing you?

Notice how often they call or text. Everyone has different styles around communication, but frequent phone calls and messages are a good sign of investment in a relationship. If the person is kind of popping in and out of your life to check on you, they're probably missing you and wondering how you feel.

This article was co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD . Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles. This article has been viewed 611,793 times.

Article Summary

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It’s natural to wonder whether someone you’re separated from misses you, and you can know their true feelings by examining how they talk to you. For example, if your friend or partner is frequently reaching out through texts or phone calls, it’s a good sign that they miss you. When you talk, listen to the tone of their voice and take note if they sound excited. Someone who sounds distracted when you’re catching up might not have missed you. If you can video chat with the person, look for non-verbal cues that they’re still interested in you like a tilted head and eye-contact. For more tips, like how to know if someone misses you after you’ve broken up, read on.

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