Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Azra Tuba Demir
Actually, science has proven it so! Certain chemicals (or endorphins) that produce the emotion of love can be emitted through emotions expressed in the eyes. There are physiological changes in the eyes that occur when love is expressed between two individuals.
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Read More »We’ve all heard the term “Love is in the Air,” but can love really be in the eyes? Actually, science has proven it so! Certain chemicals (or endorphins) that produce the emotion of love can be emitted through emotions expressed in the eyes. There are physiological changes in the eyes that occur when love is expressed between two individuals. Two people in love, love shown towards a family member, child, or even a pet all cause the same response: the pupil (the black part in the center of the eye) dilates. The size of the pupil can be an indication of emotional responses and messages. The autonomic nervous system (our fight or flight response), causes the pupil to have a quick dilating response. The ANS is also in charge of heart rate and perspiration, and when a person is extremely interested in another person, the pupil has a dilating effect that is slightly less than the pupillary light reflex. This bounce in size is an automated response that gives scientists indication of mood or interest (or love) shown to another person. Mounting scientific evidence also shows the benefit of looking into the eyes of your pet, especially dogs. Petting them causes you to become more healthy on all fronts, and a few minutes a day of lovingly looking at a dog releases serotonin, prolactin, and oxytocin which are “feel good” hormones. Overall health is improved and years can be added to your life when looking at something or someone with love. Your eyes and autonomic nervous system play an intricate role in the expression of love. Prolonged eye contact has been thought to release phenylethylamine, a chemical responsible for feelings of attraction. It has also been thought to release oxytocin, the love chemical most closely associated with longer term bonding and commitment. They say the “eyes are the windows to the soul,” but turns out they are also the windows to the heart. There have been many studies on how nonverbal cues from the eyes affect our behavior towards one another. When it comes to finding love, apparently how you communicate with your eyes can make all the difference. Show your loved ones you care about them by encouraging to have an eye exam at least once a year! Early detection of vision problems are crucial to treating them effectively, and any sudden changes in vision or difficulty seeing is a warning that a comprehensive eye exam is needed. Click here to request an appointment and keep those you care about healthy and safe!
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Telling someone how you went through a similar experience as they did is different from trying to show how you've had it worse. The first is where you show you resonate with the other person and use that empathy to connect. The second is a competition. It's true that many people have been conditioned to have some sort of seemingly objective metric of what's worse—we prioritize physical health ailments over mental health difficulties, and for anyone who appears to be living comfortably, we dismiss it with the label "First World problems" over someone who is in abject conditions. Sometimes we're filled with indignation if we've been through "worse" and think, "How dare they?" Or sometimes, we genuinely believe someone is being weak and should just "suck it up" because we have done so ourselves. Importantly, we need to be aware of these biases and to realize that pain isn't a competition. Regardless of a person's diagnosable condition or lifestyle, pain is pain. When we try to convince them their situation isn't so bad, we are effectively invalidating their experiences and alienating them. The fix: Be aware of why you feel the need to "compete"—is it because this is the only way you'll feel validated or feel some respite from your experiences? Sometimes, honesty is the best gift we can give ourselves, no matter how scary it is. This way, we can truly have empathy for ourselves and others. If you find it hard to express compassion for someone else, perhaps ask yourself, "What would I want someone to say to me in my position?"
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