Infatuation Rules
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Can you fall in love straight after a break up?

Yes, things get ugly after a breakup, and falling in love again can be really tricky. But things happen, and we often fall for someone immediately after we suffer a heartbreak. However, you need to be extremely careful about this new situation, otherwise it can make a real mess of your life.

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It's tough to find love. It's tougher to find love the second time around. Yes, things get ugly after a breakup, and falling in love again can be really tricky. But things happen, and we often fall for someone immediately after we suffer a heartbreak. However, you need to be extremely careful about this new situation, otherwise it can make a real mess of your life. If you are falling in love with someone else, good; but before you jump into a relationship, here's how you should approach this new phase of your life.

1. Look at the brighter side

Just because you have had a bitter experience, doesn’t mean you stop living your life. True love is timeless. But it doesn’t come with a timeslot, and hence you've got to look ahead in life and on the brighter side--instead of sitting in a corner, mourning over what didn’t work out.

2. Don’t compare

It’s very natural to compare your current with your ex, and that’s something most of us do. But here’s the thing: every individual is different. We love the cliche, all men are the same. But trust us, they aren't. Comparing your present with your past will only make it difficult for you to move ahead in life.

3. Take your time

Going slow in the new relationship should be your mantra. After a breakup, your mind is filled with negativity which will make you think bad thoughts about everything around you. You don’t want that, do you? Hence, it’s highly advisable to not rush into it. Go on a few dates, get to know him, and then decide whether he’s the one for you or not.

4. Don’t go back to your ex

This is perhaps the worst thought that can pop in your head when you think of your ex. You parted ways for a reason--going back will add to your stack of issues. You have given enough chances to your partner and your relationship to flourish, and yet it didn’t. So you know where the problem lies. Why add on to your grief?

5. Focus on the new person

Focussing on the new person will help you get over your ex sooner. Divert your mind towards the positive. Think about the good things that interest you about this new person in your life. Get to know him, and understand how he makes you feel. Make sure your basics are in place. It will make it easier for you to take a call about the future of your new alliance. Read iDiva for the latest in Bollywood, fashion looks, beauty and lifestyle news.

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How do you know if a guy doesn't love you?

He is no longer affectionate with you, physically or verbally. He no longer makes sweet or romantic gestures toward you. He doesn't say "I love you" anymore. He still says "I love you," but something about it feels hollow or forced, like he's just going through the motions.

If your husband says he is not in love with you, it's important to critically consider what you want to do and how you want to move forward. Importantly, the marriage doesn't have to be over if your husband is willing to work through this with you and wants to find ways to fall in love all over again. According to Henry, it's about recognizing the difference between being in love and loving someone. "Being in love doesn't equate to whether you love someone or not. I think being in love can be an ebb and flow, whereas loving someone should be more constant," she explains. "The marriage doesn't have to be over because feelings have changed. I think it's unrealistic to expect that the intensity or level of feeling will be the same over time because circumstances can have negative impacts on the relationship." Perhaps something has pulled you and your husband apart. But if you're both still committed to working on the relationship, it's possible to bounce back. On the flip side, if your husband knows his feelings won't change again—or he isn't willing to put in the effort to see—then it may be time to consider divorce. It's also worth noting—because many people may wonder—if your husband says he isn't in love with you anymore, Henry says it doesn't necessarily mean it's because he's in love with another person. There are many reasons people fall out of love, and most often it has to do with people simply growing apart. "Maybe he's going through a transition, or maybe you've changed without realizing it," she says. "In a marriage, partners need to communicate frequently because they are individual people growing at different rates."

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