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Can you be clingy in a long-distance relationship?

Clingy behaviour in a long distance relationship comes from personal insecurities, excessive communication, or a combination of both. One of the key issues in a long distance relationship is a lack of physical intimacy.

couplescoachingonline.com - How to Be Less Clingy in a Long-Distance Relationship

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You may have experienced someone telling you to stop being too clingy. But, what does clinginess actually mean, and how can you be less clingy in your relationship?

Let’s consider clinginess as an emotional dependency on another person. What you need to understand is why you are emotionally dependant, in this case, on your long-distance partner. There are several reasons for emotional dependency. It can be caused specifically by something that your partner does, for example your partner acting in a way that you find distressing, which can leave you stressed and confused. In this case, you should bring your partner’s attention to this behaviour and let them know how you feel as a result of it. Clinginess can also be a result of insecurities. In this case, you should discover the source of these insecurities that can potentially stem from your childhood and upbringing. The way you see things in your relationship will impact the way you experience your relationship. For example, you and your partner used to talk to each other frequently and shared important aspects of your relationship. Then, suddenly you stop talking as much or as often as you were without any apparent reason. If things are not discussed between you and your partner, one person can see this new dynamic as distancing, while the other person can see it as just needing some personal space. The person that perceives the behaviour as distancing, may start panicking about loosing the other person and would want to compensate by wanting more interaction like calling more often, texting too much, and expecting to receive a response straight away. If this is not fulfilled, then more insecurities will be triggered and more distressed will be felt by that partner. On the other hand, if the other person perceives the lack of interaction as a ‘good thing’ and needing some personal space. That person will welcome the time without so much interaction and in this case it may not cause a problem. In either case, it is best to express what each of you want and need, so neither of you feel neglected or unloved, which could lead to more problems later on.

To address your clinginess start by:

– Expressing how your partner’s behaviour affects you

– Get your partner’s feedback about your behaviour

– Understand the source of your insecurities

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