Infatuation Rules
Photo by RF._.studio Pexels Logo Photo: RF._.studio

Can trust ever be fully restored?

Trust can, in fact, be rebuilt if both partners are willing to put in the time and work. Any healthy relationship is built on a foundation of mutual trust. Depending on the circumstances surrounding a breach of trust, the steps for reparation may vary.

How do I connect with my partner mentally?
How do I connect with my partner mentally?

7 Simple Ways to Connect to Your Partner Do things together. ... Touch throughout the day. ... Get romantic. ... Be interested in your partner's...

Read More »
How do I stop being a toxic partner?
How do I stop being a toxic partner?

15 Ways to stop being toxic in your relationships Understand and realize what being toxic means in a relationship. ... Consider therapy. ... Be...

Read More »

Rebuilding trust in your relationship can be difficult after it has been broken or compromised. Depending on the nature of the offense, convincing your partner that you can be trusted again may even feel impossible. The good news is it’s not. Trust can, in fact, be rebuilt if both partners are willing to put in the time and work. Any healthy relationship is built on a foundation of mutual trust. Depending on the circumstances surrounding a breach of trust, the steps for reparation may vary. Certainly, there is a difference between a “little white lie” and an emotional or physical affair. If your relationship has experienced the latter, you may benefit from couples counseling. Although there is no one-size-fits-all guide to restoring trust in a relationship, the steps below serve as a basic outline for reparation.

1. Own Up to Your Role

If you have offended or hurt someone by breaking trust, it’s critical to reflect on your actions and acknowledge and own your role. Dismissing, deflecting, minimizing, or casting blame will not help you in your efforts to come to grips with what happened and work toward repair. You must own your part to yourself before you can convince your partner you have taken ownership.

2. Make an Apology Plan

For many people, apologizing doesn’t come easily. It can make a person feel vulnerable, bringing up feelings of anxiety or fear. Be intentional about moving forward with your apology despite your discomfort. Gather your thoughts in advance. Writing down your thoughts can be helpful. Rehearsing what you want to say by standing in front of a mirror and practicing may help put you at ease. If you do rehearse, though, it’s important to mean what you intend to say. Don’t plan to simply say what you think the other person wants to hear in the hopes you’ll be forgiven and the offense forgotten. It doesn’t work that way.

3. Ask for a Good Time to Talk

The adage “timing is everything” can make a difference when apologizing. Ask your partner when a good time to talk would be. Let them know you have something important you would like to discuss. Let them dictate the timing of that discussion so they can give it, and you, their full attention.

4. Accept Responsibility

You have already owned up to yourself. Now it’s time to show your partner that you accept responsibility. Be sincere and use “I” messages: “I am so sorry to have hurt you,” “I really care about you and feel terrible that I have let you down.” Be specific, when possible, regarding what you are sorry about: “I am so sorry I told you that I went to the store when I was actually somewhere else,” “I feel awful that I lied to you about how I spent that money.” Communicate that you want to make things right. Let your partner know you recognize that you broke their trust and you are willing to work hard to regain it.

5. Actively Listen

How much money is 1 million likes on TikTok?
How much money is 1 million likes on TikTok?

TikTok pays content creators $0.02–$0.04 per every 1,000 views. This means you'll get about $15 for 500,000 views and $40-$50 for 1 million views....

Read More »
What will make him miss me?
What will make him miss me?

The best way to make a guy miss you is to pull away. Refrain from texting or calling him for the smallest things. If you reach out to him...

Read More »

After apologizing, hear your partner out. You’ve spoken; now it’s time to listen. Use active listening techniques. This means being receptive not only verbally but with your body language as well. Lean in and look your partner in the eye rather than folding your arms in a defensive posture. Be aware emotions may be heightened, yours included. Stay calm and validate your partner’s feelings; they have a right to them.

6. Back Up Your Words with Actions

A genuine apology is worth its weight in gold. However, in the absence of follow-through, your words become meaningless and future attempts at repair may be rejected. If your apology is accepted, it is up to you to demonstrate a pattern of dependable behavior over time. Go the distance and commit to being your best self: be humble, be kind, be affectionate, be appreciative, be loyal, be loving, and be trustworthy.

7. Be Patient

It takes time to rebuild trust. Be patient with the process and with your partner. Also, recognize that being remorseful doesn’t mean beating yourself up. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Take responsibility but be kind to yourself. It is normal to experience some guilt, shame, or self-loathing; just don’t let it overwhelm you. Look at this as an opportunity to grow and make your relationship stronger. © Copyright 2018 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Angela Bisignano, PhD, GoodTherapy.org Topic Expert The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

What are the signs that someone is emotionally unavailable?
What are the signs that someone is emotionally unavailable?

Signs of emotional unavailability They avoid intimacy. Someone who's emotionally unavailable may fear intimacy — sharing their innermost feelings...

Read More »
Does makeup make a girl prettier?
Does makeup make a girl prettier?

The contrast of a woman's eyes and lips to her face creates a perception she is more attractive, as long as the intensity of the contrast is...

Read More »
Why do marriages fall apart?
Why do marriages fall apart?

There are obvious reasons -- domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, extramarital affairs, totally -- but what ends most marriage is something...

Read More »
What is the boring stage of a relationship?
What is the boring stage of a relationship?

Recap. A boring relationship is often characterized by a loss of interest, affection, and attention. Being comfortable in your relationship is a...

Read More »