Photo: Juan Vargas

Can physical attraction grow?

Studies have shown that attraction can build over time, but it needs to be exercised like a muscle. Spend time thinking about the things you like and desire about this person, both physically and emotionally. Fantasies and feelings will grow and develop the more you focus your thoughts on these things.

meetmindful.com - Can We Cultivate Sexual Chemistry? - MeetMindful

When should you end an online relationship?

Reasons to Call it Quits in Your Long-Distance Relationship You feel emotionally overwhelmed. You no longer enjoy being with your partner or...

Last updated Sep 9, 2021

Can a heart stop loving someone?

While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that...

Last updated Aug 14, 2020

Promotion

There are many of us who feel that we always fall for the wrong type of person. We wish we could be attracted to that “good” guy or “good” girl, but the thrilling, not-so-good-for-us mates are always the ones that steal our hearts. Is it possible to cultivate sexual chemistry, or attraction, for a person that we really like, but aren’t sure if we feel that sexual chemistry with? Attraction is actually much more flexible than we tend to believe it to be. While it may be true that we will always feel an initial spark and strong pull towards certain people, it is possible to develop attraction over time.

Here’s how it can be done:

Let go of expectations. We can blame it on Hollywood love stories or television shows, but we often have an unrealistic expectation of love and relationships. We want to be swept off our feet. We want intense passion that lasts forever. We want problem-free relationships. The first step towards having better relationships is to have a more realistic view of what love is. Good relationships take hard work. Intense passion will ebb and flow. Your ideal mate might not be the person that you expected. Stay open to all of the different possibilities that life presents to you. Don’t focus on the negative. When we are uncertain about a mate, we tend to focus on all of the qualities that we don’t like about them and all the doubts that we have. Naturally, if we only think about the negative things, we don’t leave a lot of room for cultivating attraction. While it’s important to be aware of the things you’re uncertain about, try not to spend an excessive amount of time focusing on them. Do focus on your attraction. Studies have shown that attraction can build over time, but it needs to be exercised like a muscle. Spend time thinking about the things you like and desire about this person, both physically and emotionally. Fantasies and feelings will grow and develop the more you focus your thoughts on these things. Hold off on sex. If you’re not sure if the sexual chemistry is there in the beginning, hold off on sex. Not jumping into bed right away will allow your attraction to grow and your sexual connection to intensify. Accept when it’s just not right. Although it’s important to give the relationship a fair chance, if after a few months of dating if you haven’t been able to generate an attraction, it might be time to accept that even though this person might be wonderful, they are just not right for you. It’s important to take care of your own heart and well being, but you also want to be sure that you aren’t hurting the other person. If you suspect after trying the tips above that you might never feel sexual chemistry with your partner, it’s probably time to part ways.

[photo: via janwillemsen on flickr]

What is the biggest predictor of divorce?

According to Gottman's research from 1994, contempt is the No. 1 predictor of divorce within the first 6 years of marriage. Research from 2019 also...

Last updated Feb 19, 2020

What does unhealthy love look like?

Signs of Unhealthy Love The majority of your time together is dedicated to arguments. Much of your time together involves making up after...

Last updated Apr 15, 2019

Promotion

What hormones make you feel in love?

Oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, activates feelings of trust and attraction between people when it is released in the brain, and it rises in the early stages of romantic love.

scientificamerican.com - Oxytocin, the Love Hormone, Also Keeps People Apart

Oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, activates feelings of trust and attraction between people when it is released in the brain, and it rises in the early stages of romantic love. Yet it is not just a Cupid's arrow that spurs you to fall in love with the nearest person, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Neuroscience. Instead oxytocin's social magic depends on whether or not a person is in a monogamous relationship. A team of researchers from the University of Bonn in Germany and elsewhere monitored a first encounter between straight male study participants and an attractive woman in a laboratory setting. When given oxytocin via an intranasal spray before the meeting, men who had indicated they were currently in a stable relationship kept a greater physical distance from the woman in the lab compared with single guys given oxytocin and with single and “taken” guys given a placebo. Although they stayed only 10 to 15 centimeters farther away, the extra distance left the woman outside of what most people consider “personal space,” a zone reserved for loved ones. Moreover, it was not because they did not find her attractive: the monogamous men who received oxytocin rated the woman just as good-looking as the other men did. The results suggest that oxytocin has a role in maintaining relationships after they are sparked and add to growing evidence for differences in how the hormone acts to modulate social interactions—for example, promoting bonds with familiar people but provoking aggression with strangers. “It's not all positive with oxytocin,” says Dirk Scheele, a psychologist involved with the study. “And what you call prosocial or antisocial depends on your perspective.”

What is toxic love like?

If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be...

Last updated Oct 16, 2021

When a man hugs your waist?

If your partner hugs you this way, he wants to make you feel loved. It also suggests he is protective of you when he wraps his arms around your...

Last updated Jun 28, 2020

Promotion

What are the roles of a wife in marriage?

As a wife, she is expected to serve her husband, preparing food, clothing and other personal needs. As a mother, she has to take care of the...

Last updated Dec 8, 2022

Promotion

What is the only two sided flag?

Paraguay is the only country that still has a two-sided flag. Two-sided flags were previously more common, but have been reduced due to increased...

Last updated Aug 21, 2019