Infatuation Rules
Photo by Vlada Karpovich Pexels Logo Photo: Vlada Karpovich

Can love return after a breakup?

The researchers point out that the findings align with the reality that about 50 percent of separated couples get back together again. The researchers also note that a breakup is often harder on the person doing it because of the doubt that lingers in the decision.

How many times a week should your boyfriend see you?
How many times a week should your boyfriend see you?

You should feel comfortable hanging out with your partner spontaneously three or four times a week, but you're definitely not obligated to do so if...

Read More »
What makes a man love a woman most?
What makes a man love a woman most?

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

Read More »

Nearly half of all separated couples give it another go. Science has an explanation—and with the right mindset, reuniting may not be such a bad idea, after all. We all know that one couple with the classic on-again-off-again relationship. Sometimes you just want to send them a guide to a smarter breakup. But maybe those wishy-washy romantics are onto something: Approximately 50 percent of couples get back together again after breaking up, and a new study suggests that the reason is that they were ambivalent about breaking up in the first place. While the sensible thing is to stay far away from an old flame after calling it off, some people can convince themselves there are arguments for getting back together. A 2013 Kansas State University study that found nearly half of all couples reunite also revealed that couples who got back together assumed their partner had changed for the better or that they would be better at communicating. But the newer research suggests their motivation may be more prosaic. In a series of studies recently published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, researchers from the University of Utah and the University of Toronto questioned people about why they might want to stay in or leave their relationship. Popular reasons for wanting to stay were optimism (hoping that the partner will change), emotional investment in the relationship, family duties, and fear of the uncertainty that would follow. Most people (66 percent) said they wanted to stay because of the intimacy and dependence they had developed with their partner over time. On the split side of the coin, people wanting to leave a relationship cited emotional distance, a breach of trust, and general incompatibility (frequent fighting). And more than a third—38 percent—wanted to leave due to unfaithfulness. Despite the negative feelings, 49 percent of those considering leaving still had mixed feelings about hitting the road. The researchers point out that the findings align with the reality that about 50 percent of separated couples get back together again. The researchers also note that a breakup is often harder on the person doing it because of the doubt that lingers in the decision. This ambivalence explains why such a staggering amount of couples will choose to reconnect after a split. “As long as there aren’t serious issues such as abusive behaviour in the relationship and each partner really cares about the other, a second chance at a successful relationship could work. Communication is the foundation,” says Noelle Nelson, PhD, psychologist and author of Dangerous Relationships: How To Identify And Respond To The Seven Warning Signs Of A Troubled Relationship. “If you are considering reconnecting, be totally honest with yourself. Examine your motives for doing so. Don’t get back together because you’re lonely. Don’t get back together because you’re bored or that you’re afraid you will never find someone else.” If you do happen to get back together for a valid reason, remember to use your first round as a learning experience. Double check that you aren’t mistaking those lingering feelings for heartache or dread of being single; make an effort to address the problems responsible for your initial split. “Obviously, since your relationship didn’t work out the first time, something has to change to make it work the second time around,” notes Nelson. “Otherwise, the same conflicts that caused so much trouble will re-emerge. Each partner has to understand and be willing to work on whatever caused the breakup in the first place.”

Next, check out the red flags in a relationship that mean trouble.

What are the least attractive personality traits?
What are the least attractive personality traits?

Here are the personality traits that were most unattractive: A Lack Of Compassion. I absolutely hate narcissists. ... Too Much Drama! ... Shallow...

Read More »
What does real romantic love look like?
What does real romantic love look like?

Signs of mature love include acceptance, emotional support, commitment, calmness, respect, caring, kindness, friendship, and consideration....

Read More »

Do dumpers come back a second time?
Do dumpers come back a second time?

If you average all the reputable research on the ex recovery process and chances of getting your ex back, there's about a 43.5% chance your ex will...

Read More »
What do you do with your mouth when making out?
What do you do with your mouth when making out?

Retract your tongue and do some more Intro-style kissing. Vary open-mouthed tongue kissing with closed-mouth kissing. (If you keep your mouths open...

Read More »
What is a deep love?
What is a deep love?

Deep love may be referred to as unconditional love or a soulmate connection. Although it can take time and effort to find this connection, it is...

Read More »
What sins makes God angry?
What sins makes God angry?

Proverbs 6:16-19, NIV There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent...

Read More »