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You may be in a relationship feeling that you could do with some personal space. Alternatively, you may be thinking of starting a long-distance relationship or facing one with your existing partner. So, is distance good for your relationship?

Some distance in a relationship is good, as it allows you the time and space to focus on your passions and interests. However, too much distance makes it challenging to maintain physical and emotional connection with your partner. In this article, we will see why some distance is good for a relationship. We will talk about the signs to recognise you need more space and how to talk about it with your partner.

How Distance Affects Your Relationship?

A lack of personal space when you live together with your partner can affect your relationship in several ways:

Increase frustration from not doing what is important for you

Possible resentment towards your partner

Abandoning or postponing some of your life goals and dreams

Feeling stuck

Losing interest in the future and your life

Physical and emotionally fatigue

Inability to concentrate

When you start a romantic relationship, you want to be together all the time. You want to share every moment and every new experience with your romantic partner. But as time goes by, spending all the time with each other is not sustainable, because you will start sacrificing and compromising your interests for your partner. After a while, you will forget what is important for you. It may seem that you are making an effort for your partner. But without personal fulfilment, you will lose the interest and excitement for life and forget who you are as a person. There is also a risk that you will build up resentment towards your partner without realising it. On the other hand, too much distance may not be so good for your relationship. It is particularly true when you are away from your partner for prolonged periods. When you are living together, you share a lot of experiences. But, when you live apart, you meet different people and do different things. With time, you may have little in common with your partner and may grow apart. If you would like to learn about different aspects of a long-distance relationship and what you can do to make it work, click here to read our complete guide. Suppose you have to be in a long-distance relationship for some time. In that case, you should try to maintain an emotional connection. As long as you have this connection, you will care for each other, enjoy sharing your thoughts and feelings and will be interested in each other’s life events.

Too much distance can result in:

Feeling alone

Being sexually frustrated

Uncertainty about your future and your relationship

Insecurity about your partner’s feelings

Doubt that your partner still loves and wants to be with you

Frequent insecurity and jealousy

To maintain a healthy relationship, you need to have a balance of distance and connection. A lack of space can make you lose interest in life and feel suffocated. Whereas too much distance can leave you feeling alone and disconnected from your partner. With time your feelings could change, and you may grow apart. To check how healthy your long-distance relationship really is, follow this step by step guide.

Why Is It Good to Have Space in a Relationship?

Having some time and space for yourself can allow you to do things you love, but you can’t do at the moment because you are spending too much time with your partner. When you are away from your partner, you can assess your relationship. You can either appreciate each other more or realise that this relationship isn’t working for you. Some couples stay together because of attachment, fear of being alone or out of habit. When you are away from each other, you can see your relationship more clearly for what it is. If it is a dysfunctional and toxic relationship, you may realise you don’t want to come back to it. But when you have a loving relationship, you may only need a bit of extra space. In this case, you will be eager to reunite with a lot more love and appreciation for one another. Space can also be useful in a relationship when you are getting on each other’s nerves and facing frequent problems, misunderstandings and arguments. Click here to learn about common problems in a long-distance relationship. The distance can give you some breathing room to assess your relationship and see if you want to continue with your relationship. When you are away from your romantic partner, you can spend your time doing what you like (e.g. hobbies, going out, or spend more time with your friends and family). The distance can also help you to re-evaluate and reassess your relationship to see if it brings you fulfilment and if it’s going in the right direction.

Importance of Personal Space in a Relationship

Personal space is the physical space or environment that allows you to do what you want to do. This space is only for yourself without having to consider anyone else. Personal space enables you to focus on yourself and the things that are important for you. Emotional space is the space in your mind where you can observe your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Once you are aware of your emotions, you can learn to handle them better. So when you have a disagreement with your partner instead of having a heated argument with your partner, you can have some time apart to process your emotions. Once you have a clear head and are emotionally balanced, you can find a healthier way to resolve your problems.

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The right emotional space can give you clarity and focus and can help you see things differently. For example, if you are spending too much time with your partner, you are sharing your space physically and emotionally. With too many emotions, it can be hard to see the issue for what it is. Some distance in your relationship can help you calm your emotions. It allows you the clarity to see the origin of your problems and the dynamic of your relationship. To create adequate emotional space, you need the right physical environment. The right physical and emotional space can help you connect with yourself and the things you like, need and want in your life. To have the best chance at making your long-distance relationship work, you should know how to handle the distance. To help you do that, here is our step by step guide.

How much Space Is Good in a Relationship?

A healthy amount of space in a relationship allows you to stay connected with your partner and pursue your passions and interests.

What is a normal amount of space depends on several things:

How much time you spend together because of your work, study and lifestyle

How long you have been in this relationship

Your personal preferences

Your individual needs for personal space

Your personal development and what you want to do

How much time and space you need to pursue your goals and ambitions When you are in a relationship, emotional and physical space are essential for a healthy relationship. When couples live together, they may need some personal and emotional space now and then. For couples in a long-distance relationship, the problem is too much space. On the one hand, long-distance couples get a lot of time to do what they want. On the other hand, they may find it challenging to maintain a physical and emotional connection. Two aspects stand out in a long-distance relationship and create the most problems: lack of physical intimacy and communication. In a long-distance relationship, you cannot touch, kiss or hug to reassure your partner that you still love them. Without this reassurance, your partner doesn’t know how you feel about them. It’s only so much you can express with words. Most of the communication in a long-distance relationship happens online; this makes it easy to misunderstand your partner and makes it challenging to fix problems when they arise. While distance can complicate your relationship, some issues might be related to the relationship itself. Here is a guide to help you and your partner improve communication, resolve problems and stay emotionally connected while you are physically apart.

Signs You Need Space from Your Partner.

When you are in a relationship, you spend a lot of time together. After some time, you get used to being together. You start taking each other for granted and lose appreciation for one another. Here are some signs that you or your partner may need personal space space:

You feel annoyed when your partner asks you to do things together

You think you are spending all your time with your partner.

You are not going out with your friends

You stop doing the things you enjoy

You don’t do the things you like because you don’t have time, space or energy

You feel suffocated, restricted, or constrained

You are trying to please your partner and worry about things that are important for them You neglect things that are important for you, like your personal life goals and ambitions

You feel guilty for doing things without your partner

Your partner may not do anything interesting or exciting

Both of you are spending too much time at home

Your partner spends a lot of time with you and doesn’t have any personal goals or interests.

So, how do you know if you need physical or emotional space?

Signs You Need Extra Physical Space

You are spending all the time together

You don’t have time to do your own things

You don’t go out without friends and family without your partner

Signs You Need Emotional Space

You feel your partner is overly concerned with your wellbeing

You feel like there is no space for your emotions

Your partner’s emotions invade your emotional space

How Do You Create Personal Space in a Relationship?

Once you pick up some signs that you need personal or emotional space is time to find a way to bring that space into your relationship.

You can create some personal space in your relationship by:

Talking to your partner to see if your relationship could benefit from having more space. Identifying whether you or your partner need personal or emotional space. Making a plan of how you would like to use the extra space. Finding a realistic way for you to get this extra space. If you need emotional space, you could agree to have a few hours of quiet time every day. You can discuss your thoughts and feelings with your partner, so you both can express and find some emotional balance. For personal space, you could agree to sleep in separate rooms or going to stay with family or friends for a few days.

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Depending on how much personal space you need, you could benefit just by going out with your friends and family without your partner. But, if you feel you need more space than that, then you can agree to stay in different rooms during the day or even sleeping in separate rooms for a while. If you feel you need to have all the space for yourself, then one of you can consider going away to stay with family or on a short holiday. Here is a step by step guide to help you and your partner intimately connect with each other.

How to Give Personal Space in a Relationship?

Once you established that your relationship could benefit from having some extra space, here’s what you can do: You can agree with your partner on why do you need it How is it going to work How long it will last Sometimes you may feel OK with the way things are, and it’s your partner who needs extra personal space. You may perceive their need for additional space as not wanting to be with you. If you have any doubts about your partner’s feelings and your relationship, have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Approach their need for space with understanding and patience. You can also find ways in which you can benefit from a bit of distance in your relationship. If you are the one needing some space, it helps if you bring it up in the right way. If you say “I need space”. Your partner can interpret it as you not wanting to be with them and that they are doing something wrong. Instead, tell your partner how you feel and why you need to have some personal space. Reassure your partner that this is your personal need that has nothing to do with them or your relationship. It’s just that there are some things you would like to do or that you need some space to connect with yourself. For example, you can say when I don’t have some space I feel suffocated, and I become cranky, I believe with some personal space I can relax and find some emotional balance that will make my company more enjoyable, which will contribute to a healthier relationship with fewer arguments and more understanding. If you are serious about making your long-distance relationship work, this complete step by step guide covers everything you need to know from fixing the issues to enjoying your relationship.

Conclusion

Some distance in a relationship allows you time and space to focus on your life and on what’s important to you. You may also find that distance will give you a fresh perspective on your relationship. Having personal space for yourself and your partner is one of the best things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship. Everyone needs personal space. When a couple lives together, partners rarely have alone time to be with their thoughts and feelings. A long-distance relationship allows partners to reflect on their personal lives. At the same time, you risk losing your emotional connection because of the distance. Having some distance can help you see your relationship from a different perspective. You may discover something you haven’t seen before. If you are struggling to figure out if you or your partner need space in your relationship, here are three steps to help you out: Make a list of things you would like to have in your relationship, but you currently do not have the time and space for. Ask your partner to make a list of things they would like to have in your relationship, but they currently don’t have the time and space for. Separate the problems you consider are in your relationship and those that are caused by the physical or emotional distance.

Recognising the need for personal space may just save your relationship.

If you are looking for a partner who shares your values and beliefs, take a look at this workbook. It will help you get clear on what you want from a relationship and who is your special someone.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work. We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication. If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

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