Infatuation Rules
Photo: Mushtaq Hussain
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." You don't support or listen to each other.
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Read More »There's no question that relationships are complicated. Even the most stable of marriages will go through intense highs and extreme lows. So if you're asking yourself, "Should I get a divorce?" know that you're not alone. A 2015 poll found that half of all married couples have contemplated divorce. And during the pandemic, the number of people interested in divorce has only increased. But determining whether or not your marriage should end is a huge decision. "I have never met anyone who approaches the subject lightly," explains Jen Libby, MSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist who helps families through divorce. "I have also not met many individuals — even in seemingly healthy relationships — that haven't contemplated divorce at some point in their marriage." That said, Libby notes that there are some pretty obvious signs that you should consider divorce. A number of things can weave a path straight to divorce: not putting in the effort to compromise, shutting down emotionally, pushing your partner away, and even seeking intimacy from an outside partner. Some of the signs you should get a divorce, however, are a lot more subtle and may take some time for you to see. Many of these red flags might also point to a need for support, be it from a family member, friend, or marriage counselor, so that you and your partner can be better equipped to work through your issues. But if you do decide to take the divorce leap, consider this: "Coming to terms that the marriage is over and working together [with your spouse] towards a resolution that is fair for everyone will almost always make the process go quicker especially when kids are involved," says matrimonial and family law attorney Elizabeth Rozin-Golinder. Here are some of the most common signs that it’s time to get a divorce, according to relationship experts.
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